It's not so much the apathy as the......oh, nevermind.

Someone needs to let rednecks know that it's not UNDERwear when that's all you're wearing.

I wouldn't star her tweet with someone else's laptop #moderninsults

New studies show that 72% of old studies are false.

I can count on one hand the number of times I've counted on one hand.

The brain cells are coming from INSIDE THE SNEEZE.

This cold has turned me into a hoarse whisperer

When you're accused of circular logic, you're just not thinking straight.

A Fish Called Honda #carfilms

Today's minor rebellion: eating a fruit cup with my fingers. Do not test me people! I'm a wild card I tell ya! I put the DENT in decadent!

I'd love to call my rosacea stupid, but in fact it's quite well-red.

I dunno about you, but 'shaved' roast beef makes me really, really not want to see the alternative. Like ever. #justsayin

Yer mom's a #hashtag

The Sound of Mueslix #moviesnoonewillsee

Only wrong once #sadepitaph

Twitter: talk is cheep

It's *called* Lazy Sunday. If I'm supposed to stop spacing out in my pjs in the mid-afternoon, they should have called it something else.

There's Something About Marriage #miserablemovies (oh, hush. You know you're laughing)

Missing 80s rock. As Husker Dü-sually.

When playing mind games, do make sure you have the proper equipment ...:::the more you know:::....