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I accidentally mixed Xanax and NyQuil with scotch. I now have a new friend. He is a unicorn. His name is Steve.
"What do we want?"
"When do we want it?"
"I’ll fucking CUT you!"
What do you mean I can't use Cheetos as croutons on my salad?
Look, I can "have a good one" or "stay out of trouble", but not both. This is an either/or proposition here, ok? Ok.
I prefer to think the rapture did in fact happen. This means those of us still around are the real sinners. Way to commit!! #Partyon
For those who know nothing about how to satisfy a woman: The G spot is located at the end of the word shopping.
Happy Mayan April Fools' Day!
Lover of wine, women, song, and the L.A. Dodgers. Navy vet. Renaissance man working hard to make the world a better place while keeping something for himself.