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"Because that's what heroes do" is a good answer for almost any question in a job interview.
Find your murderer name by combining location where you do murder (Cleveland, Lakeside) with kind of murder you do (slasher, strangler etc.)
Will America choose Obama, or the visibly unstable rich guy who basically said all poor/unemployed people are shit? Real nail-biter.
Just found out @hormelfoods is on Twitter. I immediately reported them for Spam.
John Travolta, Olivia Newton-John & a special guest have made a very special album of Christmas music. http://twitpic.com/bfw2f2
Half the people I know are out of work. A ruined generation. Desperation and anger are everywhere. Let's reward millionaires with a tax cut!
Just found out @hormelfoods is on Twitter. I immediately reported them for Spam.
When robbing a corpse, just keep shouting "Had too much to drink, huh, buddy!" so people think you're helping a drunk.
Don't just try to get rid rid of your old toilet by flushing it down the new toilet. That won't work.
You know the McRib is only available for a limited time. But did you know that in every town it appears, hobos start disappearing?
Just saw ads for "Derek." Congratulations to Ricky Gervais on his brave portrayal of an out-of-touch comedian whose best work is behind him.
New FartTracker™ app tells you exactly when & where you last farted, & lets you publish your personal fart data to the web.
In the 1960s Batman and James Bond were ridiculous, acting all happy and heroic. Now we are adults & demand that they be weeping failures.
"Death of a Salesman" was such a big hit that Arthur Miller wrote four sequels, finishing with "A Good Day to Die Like a Salesman."
How I explained this scene to my son: "They're Italian, they want the dogs to have sex." http://twitpic.com/bxhimj
Shouting "Let the games begin!" is always an interesting way to enter a public toilet.
http://favstar.fm/users/MKupperman
