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Find your murderer name by combining location where you do murder (Cleveland, Lakeside) with kind of murder you do (slasher, strangler etc.)
When robbing a corpse, just keep shouting "Had too much to drink, huh, buddy!" so people think you're helping a drunk.
Don't just try to get rid rid of your old toilet by flushing it down the new toilet. That won't work.
Will America choose Obama, or the visibly unstable rich guy who basically said all poor/unemployed people are shit? Real nail-biter.
"Because that's what heroes do" is a good answer for almost any question in a job interview.
John Travolta, Olivia Newton-John & a special guest have made a very special album of Christmas music. http://twitpic.com/bfw2f2
Just saw ads for "Derek." Congratulations to Ricky Gervais on his brave portrayal of an out-of-touch comedian whose best work is behind him.
Just found out @hormelfoods is on Twitter. I immediately reported them for Spam.
How I explained this scene to my son: "They're Italian, they want the dogs to have sex." http://twitpic.com/bxhimj
In the 1960s Batman and James Bond were ridiculous, acting all happy and heroic. Now we are adults & demand that they be weeping failures.
When you see 2 police on street, run up & say "Alright- I'm undercover & there's a situation. You 2 idiots will have 2 be my backup."
Half the people I know are out of work. A ruined generation. Desperation and anger are everywhere. Let's reward millionaires with a tax cut!
You know the McRib is only available for a limited time. But did you know that in every town it appears, hobos start disappearing?
Just found out @hormelfoods is on Twitter. I immediately reported them for Spam.
Henry Miller is the foremost poet of the sexual realm. His masterpiece, "Doing It Is Awesome," won him the coveted Screwlitzer Prize.
I was impressed that Mitt has read all of Cerebus, though. Not many people have done that.
I think a great ending for this decade would be if the twin towers were in the shower, and it had all been a dream.
I'm an accidental racist when making out checks at the beginning if the year, I write "white power" instead of the date
http://favstar.fm/users/MKupperman
