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  • MMcbeard
      dick @MMcbeard

    Am I the only one who never checks voice mail. If I cared I would pick up. Stop leavin messages!

    • 178
    • FAVS
    DGolightly29______AmazonKittyBear__ImSortOfSarahlil_brown_jug_____B_I_G_J_O_H_N_Megs_OlsonMcKnightyBoogrownassedwoman__
    • 87
    • RETWEETS
    ImSortOfSarahlil_brown_jug____Megs_OlsonMcKnightyBooxXChicagoKarinaJenny4ashleywildpokermanGingerVonPaige
    77StephanieG77
  • MMcbeard
      dick @MMcbeard

    I like how you play hard to
    unfollow.

    • 177
    • FAVS
    DanKCharnleyechobunny9203sunnydaydream95DGolightly29______thulnicolleImSortOfSarahvivianadgafstar_shine22
    • 71
    • RETWEETS
    sunnydaydream95ImSortOfSarah3sbienCountMackulaMegs_OlsonMcKnightyBooAmazonKittyBear__xXChicagoKarina
  • MMcbeard
      dick @MMcbeard

    I hate both people who will read this !

    • 125
    • FAVS
    nikstylesDanKCharnleyDGolightly29______AmazonKittyBear__McKnightyBoogrownassedwoman__neakelbabyblue0924
    • 43
    • RETWEETS
    Jenny4ashleyJay1972JayGingerVonPaigefavstar1000favsMrNoLaughs_LezzzBeHonest____WiseFadaTDeeRock
  • MMcbeard
      dick @MMcbeard

    If you see this,
    fuck you.

    • 112
    • FAVS
    DanKCharnleyDGolightly29______randomlady74PenguinCrystalSticcibunns69thulnicolleImSortOfSarahgrownassedwoman__
    • 52
    • RETWEETS
    PenguinCrystalSticcibunns69AmazonKittyBear__xXChicagoKarinaJenny4ashleyjover_lointIAMSTONE22Limon_Jello
    chrisanna4real
  • MMcbeard
      dick @MMcbeard

    Hey parents who thought they would buy their kid a whistle,
    You are shit heads.I hate you.

    • 123
    • FAVS
    DanKCharnleyDGolightly29______nikstylesthulnicolleImSortOfSarahCountMackulaMcKnightyBoogrownassedwoman__
    • 32
    • RETWEETS
    CountMackulaxXChicagoKarinaJenny4ashleyGingerVonPaigemt_mosquito______favstar1000favs_LezzzBeHonest____DoingHappyHour
  • MMcbeard
      dick @MMcbeard

    Your wife/girlfriend/significant other/'partner'/
    mom likes my beard.

    • 90
    • FAVS
    DanKCharnleyDGolightly29______nikstylesSneaky_PeterJluckierxImSortOfSarahJust_Jess_AgainMcKnightyBoo
    • 36
    • RETWEETS
    luckierxAmazonKittyBear__ImSortOfSarahJust_Jess_AgainMcKnightyBoogrownassedwoman__xXChicagoKarinaGrind_n_Roll
    goodballs
  • MMcbeard
      dick @MMcbeard

    That's right! I put a star on my own tweet. Cuz I feel strongly about stuff.

    • 90
    • FAVS
    DanKCharnleyDGolightly29______AmazonKittyBear__CountMackulaMcKnightyBoogrownassedwoman__neakelbabyblue0924
    • 23
    • RETWEETS
    CountMackulaxXChicagoKarina_LezzzBeHonest____TDeeRockWelldonebacon_certifiably___warmfeathersLalaw143
  • MMcbeard
      dick @MMcbeard

    I'm looking for a girl who likes to shut the fuck up.

    • 69
    • FAVS
    nikstylesDanKCharnleysarita7108grammar_cuntNyStoicRadOrDieSticcibunns69Sneaky_PeterJ
    • 37
    • RETWEETS
    christiergbbGypsySoMagicNyStoicRadOrDieSticcibunns69AmazonKittyBear__JamesonN7CountMackula
  • MMcbeard
      dick @MMcbeard

    My dog follows me 24/7.
    That's how u do it stupid.

    • 82
    • FAVS
    DanKCharnleyDGolightly29______AmazonKittyBear__ImSortOfSarahCountMackulaMcKnightyBoogrownassedwoman__neakel
    • 18
    • RETWEETS
    CountMackulaLittleMissBoozyCass472___________LezzzBeHonest____SCOOPISMSFavstar500Favs77StephanieG77MrNickJC
  • MMcbeard
      dick @MMcbeard

    Fuck you.
    I'm funny.

    • 61
    • FAVS
    DanKCharnleyMountainRaptorTweetsByTheTonysunnydaydream95RadOrDieSticcibunns69AmazonKittyBear__McKnightyBoo
    • 30
    • RETWEETS
    sunnydaydream95Sticcibunns69AmazonKittyBear__FatFett1itsaRawDawgrocious1JessLW00t__TheGrimKing
  • MMcbeard
      dick @MMcbeard

    Having thousands of followers must be like a free pass to tweet garbage. They still get 50 stars for a steamy pile of crap... *someday

    • 63
    • FAVS
    DanKCharnleyDGolightly29______ImSortOfSarahMcKnightyBoogrownassedwoman__neakelAmazonKittyBear__babyblue0924
    • 25
    • RETWEETS
    LittleMissBoozyFavstar500Favs_LezzzBeHonest____Welldonebacon_certifiably___vegasantitheistmike_reid20______goodersuk74______
  • MMcbeard
      dick @MMcbeard

    If you have never been drug out of the bar by at least four bouncers, you are NOT a crazy bitch.

    • 64
    • FAVS
    DanKCharnleyMountainRaptorsunnydaydream95SpinsterAbigailRadOrDieDGolightly29______AmazonKittyBear__ImSortOfSarah
    • 24
    • RETWEETS
    sunnydaydream95ImSortOfSarahjranddiJessisaspazziStraff_uScreamgwatts77PicklesnPicklesFavstar_NSFW
  • MMcbeard
      dick @MMcbeard

    Please help my beard grow.
    And by beard.....I mean beard.

    • 71
    • FAVS
    sunnydaydream95DGolightly29______ImSortOfSarahJust_Jess_AgainMcKnightyBoonumba1batgrownassedwoman__neakel
    • 15
    • RETWEETS
    ImSortOfSarahJust_Jess_AgainMcKnightyBoogrownassedwoman__AmazonKittyBear__sackajaweeahGrind_n_RollFavstar500Favs
    AmazonKittyBear__
  • MMcbeard
      dick @MMcbeard

    I have no inside jokes.I get my cigars at the corner store.I normally drink beer, till I puke.I am the least interesting man in the world.

    • 72
    • FAVS
    DanKCharnleySpinsterAbigailMcKnightyBoogrownassedwoman__neakelnbrhavoc__________AmazonKittyBear__babyblue0924
    • 13
    • RETWEETS
    nicholeb74_LezzzBeHonest____Favstar500Favs_certifiably___Blondiethegoodslicknikkib0bbyRyuofbladeschrisanna4real
  • MMcbeard
      dick @MMcbeard

    Hey all who hate rednecks.
    Bless your heart.

    • 68
    • FAVS
    DanKCharnleysunnydaydream95Knowmenot216SmileyComcViagraJunkyDGolightly29______chewstrokeImSortOfSarah
    • 15
    • RETWEETS
    AmazonKittyBear__ImSortOfSarahxXChicagoKarinaFavstar500FavsGingerVonPaigeaaronupCass472___________certifiably___
  • MMcbeard
      dick @MMcbeard

    Had to block somebody for the first time today. Not as cool as I thought. Man the old lady is pissed!

    • 68
    • FAVS
    sunnydaydream95AmazonKittyBear__DGolightly29______McKnightyBooneakelbabyblue0924xXChicagoKarinaJenny4ashley
    • 14
    • RETWEETS
    LittleMissBoozythistletat13Favstar500Favs_LezzzBeHonest____stephapolloBPFastballsQueenDarkside____GreyDefender
  • MMcbeard
      dick @MMcbeard

    I'll fuck you like I'm trying to steal you from someone.

    • 49
    • FAVS
    echobunny9203denisealondraWitchdotcom__MountainRaptormandylynnPAKBellacosasunnydaydream95Knowmenot216
    • 26
    • RETWEETS
    MountainRaptorsunnydaydream95nakedlaughingDGolightly29______Sticcibunns69DakotaDoesDabsAmazonKittyBear__JNez6
    nbrhavoc__________
  • MMcbeard
      dick @MMcbeard

    Got bourbon ? Got scotch ? Got beer ? Weed ? Nothing? So fuck off then.

    • 57
    • FAVS
    DGolightly29______Sticcibunns69AmazonKittyBear__neakelbabyblue0924xXChicagoKarinaJenny4ashleyGingerVonPaige
    • 9
    • RETWEETS
    Sticcibunns69AmazonKittyBear__Favstar_NSFWLittleMissBoozyRyuofbladeschrisanna4realBurning_Halos____grdrifter
  • MMcbeard
      dick @MMcbeard

    Ever hav one of those days that everything goes just right, just like u hoped? Me ? Nope ? Every day is a car wreck.

    • 52
    • FAVS
    sunnydaydream95DGolightly29______AmazonKittyBear__neakelbabyblue0924Jenny4ashleyGrind_n_RollLittleMissBoozy
    • 11
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar500FavscabrsCass472__________RyuofbladesShahdomar77Blondiethegoodslicknikkib0bbychrisanna4real
  • MMcbeard
      dick @MMcbeard

    Told this guy one time"I'm smarter than I look" he said I'd have to be.?

    • 54
    • FAVS
    sunnydaydream95AmazonKittyBear__McKnightyBooDitchedYaHuh______neakelbabyblue0924Jenny4ashleyGingerVonPaige
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar500FavsCass472___________certifiably___77StephanieG77slicknikkib0bbyRyuofbladesLisa_Laughs_
@MMcbeard

@MMcbeard

suck my dick