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Am I the only one who never checks voice mail. If I cared I would pick up. Stop leavin messages!
I like how you play hard to
I hate both people who will read this !
If you see this,
Hey parents who thought they would buy their kid a whistle,
You are shit heads.I hate you.
Your wife/girlfriend/significant other/'partner'/
mom likes my beard.
That's right! I put a star on my own tweet. Cuz I feel strongly about stuff.
I'm looking for a girl who likes to shut the fuck up.
My dog follows me 24/7.
That's how u do it stupid.
Having thousands of followers must be like a free pass to tweet garbage. They still get 50 stars for a steamy pile of crap... *someday
If you have never been drug out of the bar by at least four bouncers, you are NOT a crazy bitch.
Please help my beard grow.
And by beard.....I mean beard.
I have no inside jokes.I get my cigars at the corner store.I normally drink beer, till I puke.I am the least interesting man in the world.
Hey all who hate rednecks.
Bless your heart.
Had to block somebody for the first time today. Not as cool as I thought. Man the old lady is pissed!
I'll fuck you like I'm trying to steal you from someone.
Got bourbon ? Got scotch ? Got beer ? Weed ? Nothing? So fuck off then.
Ever hav one of those days that everything goes just right, just like u hoped? Me ? Nope ? Every day is a car wreck.
Told this guy one time"I'm smarter than I look" he said I'd have to be.?
su¢k my di¢k
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