@katielcole Happy Mother's Day to you my dear on your first Mother's Day!

@katielcole Girl, treat yo self.

YOU GUYS YOU GUYS YOU GUYS I'm getting business cards. It must really be a grown up type lady job.

I have photographed the weddings of 3 couples. 2 of those couples are now divorced. I am DISTRESSED.

@katielcole I JUST FIGURED OUT THAT YOU NAMED YOUR BABY AFTER TOM ZYGOTE

The best part of this debate is Joe Biden's facial expressions

@katielcole So Tom will probably be the size of a 6th grader by his 1st birthday?

Chicago is superior to NYC b/c it's ok to make eye contact w/ ppl here & the smell of hot garbage is less pervasive.

Spending the evening farting all the farts I held in all day.

My Mom, watching HGTV: "I've decided I want a backsplash. I don't know where we'll put it but I would like one."

Snow dog http://t.co/VN1DR4O1

This is the most boring Superbowl ever.

Aw you guys, Buttons' second Valentine photo shoot came out real cute. Probably because he got his hair cut.

Fuck all this shit

So Black Swan is the romantic comedy of the year, right?

Zappos has just impressed the hell outta me. What with the fact that my order placed 12 hours ago will be here TODAY.

"My hand lives in my pocket!" said the Kindergartner, "It only comes out at night!"

The news should always be autotuned.

How I know the East Coast has ruined me: I mistook a group of Mennonites for hipsters (there were wearing suspenders & silly hats)