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going through my tweets from last night and wondering why I don't have my own show on Comedy Central.
tough world out there. watch your own back
always sucks when somebody gets a bunch of followers and doesn't communicate with you anymore
you press that bottle to your lips.. and I wish I was your beer
girls are confusing creatures and I don't understand how they work or what they like. I'm as intelligent on the subject as a bag of potatoes
After the hot tub it's cardio x, and ab ripper x. Then more Oreos cause fuck you that's why
there are 37 dots on the ceiling tile directly above me
shout out to whoever is reading this because you don't give yourself enough credit and you're cool and deserve it
wait this iphone is a phone too?
"oh let me send a picture of my penis to a girl so she can show her friends and make fun of me to ensure I never get sex again"
"OH MY GOD FUCK THESE REFS THEY'RE FOR THE OTHER TEAM" every sports fan of every team ever in the history of sports forever
if the government is reading this I have some information u can use if u want: I just farted
twitter punches are being thrown and I'm here with my popcorn like "woah!"
i'm a bodybuilda! 21 years old. Blues hockey. hockey in general. 100% off the market.