Gay marriage needs to be legalized everywhere....


Id watch the shit out of gay divorce court...

i put redbull in my coffee this morning instead of water.....












right now, i can see noises.....

Alcohol:

Because no great story ever started with eating a salad.

I found my first grey pube today, which im fine with, but it was in my Big Mac.

Nobody told me that my child would be a world champion cock blocker.

When I said "I'd hit that" .. I meant with my car...

My life is a bunch of " seemed like a good idea at the times" strung together.

Karma takes to fucking long.. Id rather beat the shit outta you right fucking now.

My daily routine:

1. Get up.

2. Be awesome.

3. Go to bed.

I just realized Rambo has dick sucking lips.

Dear Karma,


I have a list of people that you missed.

Im really good at the 6 part of a 69.

I think i smoked my spirit animal.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I suck at poetry,
Nice tits.

I hate when people compare me to the swamp people "cajuns" .. We are all not like that.. Yes we eat what we kill. But thats it..

Stupidity should be fucking painful..

Blah blah blah blah blah .. Fuckers.

Whats a girl gotta do to get a poke, star, or RT?? # showsomelove

All these women on here. Bitching cuz their man dont do it right.If he aint pleasing u its not his fault its urs.Tell ur man what to do, ho!

Im not saying i hate her fucking ass... Im just saying i hope she gets fingered by Freddy Kruger..