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Diff between man & woman: A woman will drop her pants for a rich successful man but the same man will drop his for a one-legged crack whore.
Never show them you're desperate. Well, unless you want to get laid. In that case you can go ahead and whore it up a little.
If you need a distraction I have boobs.
Dear Toronto I know you are said but I am happy to get a better commute back
Hey girl, are you sunlight, exercise, and vegetables, 'cause I don't get nearly enough of you.
Hey girl, are you all of the embarrassing things that happened to me in grade six, 'cause I never stop thinking about you.
Let's hate shit- together.
I may be a single girl but I experience no difficulties when fixing plumbing or car problems....
I just dress sleezy and cry.
Don’t be pushed by your problems; be led by your dreams.
When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother what will I be. Will I be pretty, will I be rich? Here's what she said to me:
GO TO SLEEP.
Problem with society is women breed with neck tat delinquent dads rather than a better class of gene pool. Save the planet. Fuck a scientist
Girl - "Do you mind the cold weather?"
Me - "I'm a Stark, winter is coming."
Girl - "Dooouuccchhheeeebbbaaagggg!!!!"
Me - "Fair enough."
I'm too sexist for my shirt.
Muslim girls start wearing a hijab after their first period, in order to not tempt the lust of men. Could there be a less appropriate time?
My friend is on the"months of starvation,obsessive exercise & painful grooming" diet
In hopes that boys will finally notice her inner beauty
Has sending a dick pic ever succeeded for anyone?
If not, then why are there guys that keep doing it?
Oh yea, no personality.
is a funny Toronto-based improviser, sketch & stand-up. She works in financial industry by day. She makes people laugh by night. Her work speaks for itself.