Fabulous role models #angrybitch #cokesniffer

Unable to stay on a train to your destination does not constitute a disaster. A firefighter being shot at work, now THAT's a disaster.

Slit your writs time. I'm going for a piss.

@totobrose @ladyfuckwit They (blokes) like to think it's really complicated. Bit like using the washing machine, or the iron.

I am ridding the world of Daddie's Sauce, one Tweeter and a time. Mwah ha ha!

@jshamutd Saw you on the tellybox today. For the life of me, I can't think why. Happy Christmas.

Dismayed to discover not one RT of the car stolen in today's carjacking. Come on Twitter! White Vauxhall Astra KV60 BNX. Go get 'em!

ATTENTION TWITTER - Green Kawazaki Z1000, registration stolen from Padgate 27 January. DM @makambo67 with any information. Please RT!

ATTENTION TWITTER - Green Kawazaki Z1000, registration stolen from Padgate in the last two hours. Conact me with any information. Please RT!

@captainsidcup Yeah, me too.

@jimmygibb666 Totally pissing myself laughing

Well of COURSE it's not your fault :-/

@yorkiepud76 Fucking genius Pud! Shame it failed.

@discoken I'm sure ;-)

@lukeosullivan Thanks for sharing :-)

@captainsidcup That's pretty much been me for the past 5 days #bliss

Wotchya Twitter. How goes it?

@ladyfuckwit One would rather hope people would treat retail staff well every day

@yorkiepud76 Sounds like a successful shop to me! :-)

Just OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR ALREADY!