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Clean sheets are such a blatant sign of optimism. #IfYouMakeItHeWillCum
Have already sweated through my thong. Once again, let it be shown that the only point of panties is to take them off.
For those who enjoy the consistency of semen without the bitter aftertaste, I highly recommend coconut yogurt.
Shout-out to all the skinny bitches. Thanks to you, there's more stuffing for me.
"Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip." - Winston Churchill
I'm a good driver, Officer. It's these fuck me heels. They make me do bad things.
Husband has never finished in anyone's mouth. I shall see to it as my duty to right that tonight.
Lexus with license plate "THXHUN."
If you ask me to guess the secret ingredient in your dish, you know I'm going to say semen.
"We only both fit in this chair if my pants are off."
Who needs ipecac when you have the word "husbear" to induce vomiting?
Sext: Let's get our percolator on.
(Oh, who am I kidding. My mind is in the gutter 24/7.)
I want my old friends. I want my old face. I want my old mind. Fuck this time and place. #HappyNewYear #AniDiFrancoStyle
WTF, phone. You know "cunnilingus" but you still haven't figured out "duck/fuck"?
Notorious blogger with insatiable appetites. Lover of 4-letter words & sticky sweet substances. A two wiener woman. The Kevin Bacon of the Twin Cities.