car windows should be upside down so they actually cool off my body instead of ruining my hair

why does anyone care how many people someone has slept with, like how do you think people get good at it

people are often divided when it comes to their feelings towards me, either they like me or they are stupid

will someone come sit on my face?? not sexually but so i die

whenever i can't sleep i count the number of lives i've ruined

I CAN FEEL MY FEELINGS WHERE ARE MY PILLS

do you think dinosaurs had forbidden romances

it's not that you're offensive, it's that you're dumb

made a rather lengthy & personal tumblr post but it would mean a lot to me if you read it http://t.co/ZdtCFR3y

making new friends when you are a grown-up is horrible and awkward and impossible.

why does a sports & fitness category even exist on netflix? that's why i have netflix, because i don't do sports or fitness

how long should i wait before answering a text, like on a scale of 0-5 seconds

saw a van that said "follow me to jesus" so i did and ended up at chili's

just noticed a typo in my tweet so i'm covering every inch of my body in rubber bands and snapping them all at once

being biracial is weird because my white friends are all "make it rain, pocahontas" and my indian friends are like "what's indoor plumbing."

i'd rather have a sex tape leaked than one of me eating wings

how do i get hugs on the internet

pretty sure dudes would criticize the physical appearances of women way less if they had to walk around with their dicks out

no, it's cool if plans changed. i rolled all of my hair around a 400° death stick that could disfigure me but it's fine

"omg you stop hugging me first!" "no you stop hugging me first!" "can't make me lol" - boxing