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The Wife is away until Sunday night. Anyone wanna come sit on the other end of the couch and bitch at me?
I prefer period sex because I feel like I'm commiting murder while getting laid. My two favorite hobbies.
People love to post they have a migraine on FB??? What the fuck? BTW, bad Migraine today.
They should change the name from Twitter to Ginger because none of you fuckers have a soul.
#SharkWeek learned that female lemon sharks are like black men, once the babies born they don't give it a second thought.
Tonights special: Roffiecoladas... Tomorrow Morning we are having free Plan B smoothies for any overnight guests
I like to wear pink shirts because it makes me feel like I'm walking around covered in Vag all day
Twitter is full of alcoholics and inappropriate sex... It's like my childhood revisited.
Ladies the correct way to say thanks to a soldier this weekend is by swallowing. #abortionfree Memorial Day
If they ever decide to put a DUI checkpoint at a Taco Bell drive-thru, it's safe to say we're all fucked
Haven't been on here in awhile, damn I follow alot of porn shit!.. Nap time
"The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything"
Just heard a girl say "he ass raped my vagina" - Walmart is fucking crazy
I don't give a Fuck about you needy pricks, just make me laugh