@curlycomedy I know how it is. They always just wave through the police checkpoints my van that says, "Mobile Pressure Cooker Repairs."

@thenardvark Then Larry Craig foot tapping had to go and ruin that dream for us.

@feelmytweets It's a trade off. Adults getting married generally aren't still shitting their pants.

@feelmytweets Silly man. In Russia only Putin is allowed to have horses and those are just for him to hunt.

@crankdathoe Everyone is supposed to have an inny. There's something wrong with an outty. I suspect they are aliens or Al Qaeda or something

@crankdathoe Fact: The more men masturbate, the lower their chance of getting Prostate Cancer. Your health is in your hands.

@blitznbeans I saw one in a Vietnamese food market in Dallas for real. I screamed.

@sbellelauren They'd better put a rubber glove on the clamps of the bomb squad robot in case it goes off.

@curlycomedy Are you watching Here Comes Honey Boo Boo again?????

@samgrittner The rest of us haven't so please get dressed.

@chrisrregan I suggested the idea, but it got shot down.

@adamwearspants I heard the @1milmoms group is protesting the ads, as they feel it promotes child bestiality.

@mariecolette You better run that question by HR to be sure.

@joshfadem Someday if you study hard you have everything it takes to become a personal assistant to Lindsay Lohan.

@curlycomedy On my birthday I become Abe Vigoda, #doingitwrong

@curlycomedy Texas is really pronounced TexAss.

@curlycomedy Neither are cats. I tried for years to get her to just paw the icon. She would have none of it. She died twitterless. :(

@guyendorekaiser He's fair game. Mitt the flipper injected himself squarely into the fray with his comments on FEMA.

@curlycomedy Had an old lady on FB that would type "how.are.you.today.?." So I blocked her. Life is cruel.

@tng_s8 LMAO. My thoughts exactly on Wes's uniform. I jokingly say it begs a debriefing from Picard. Maybe Worf if the lad is sturdy enough.