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My kids just don't understand how hard it is to be this stoned.
My son: Mom will get mad...
Me: Why would she be mad?
My son: That's how she rolls.
*doesn't wait until 4:20*
*exaggerates drug use to impress peer group*
Reach out to that special someone you love the most and tap that ass.
*wakes up; grabs bong.
I'm a stoner, but not smoke resin stoner...
*Performs morning routine: wakes up on the wagon and jumps off*
I secretly (and wrongly) believe I will never die.
Twitter is mutual masturbation.
This strain of weed gives me better tweets...
*feels sorry for you*
God, I am SO full of shit sometimes...
*gets uncomfortable with public exposure during drug deal and starts overcompensating; mumbling loudly about craigslist*
Mostly helping people and such. Chewstroke... for the kids.