I prefer my orgasms in multiples, ya know, to go along with my personalities

I will never cut my hair short because even when i'm 60 I want you pulling that shit

Stars are free you cheap fucks, whats a girl gotta do around here

I'm the kind of girl you can take home to meet your parents and fuck on the kitchen table after they go to bed

Absence making the heart grow fonder is bullshit - your absence makes me forget your ass and get on with my life

Pin me up against the wall, hold my wrists up above my head, put your knee between my thighs & kiss me like you're never gonna see me again

A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills... She has 14 kids but doesn't really care

I'll take breakfast in bed with a side of orgasm please

I wonder what would torture me more, never having you or having you only once

Coffee didn't help, get the jumper cables.

I need the aggression fucked right out of me

I can smell a pussy a mile away...thats how I know my boss is coming down the stairs

If i'm wearing pigtails its pretty much an invitation...dont ask...just do it asshole

Wanting me isn't enough and needing me is too much

My mom just sent a text saying there is a recall on birth control and which one do I use - do I respond the pull out and pray method?

I'll serve you breakfast in bed but I get to pick what you're eating

I'm still pulling Mardi Gras beads out of my ass from last year

Smile if youve ever swiped candy from your childs Halloween stash..Blush if youve ever stolen the batteries out of their toys 2 put in yours

I think its total bullshit that I cant DM someone unless they follow me, for the love of Christ, wheres the fun in stalking in that!

Just doing my part to appear productive to the untrained eye