Oh, man, do NOT Google "manhunt" and "Big Bear".

Steven Spielberg is so Ang Lee right now #Oscars

Frank Ocean should never have taken Chris Brown's parking spot. That space was reserved for the mentally handicapped.

Adele's unborn child was just nominated for 12 Grammys.

Equal pay for women: important issue for Mitt Romney. Female show horses win an average of 72% of the prize money that male show horses win.

Chris Brown totaled his Porsche 911. Apparently the GPS lady was talking back to him #Jeselnik

Andy Reid. This is your last chance to save your job. Put yourself in at left tackle. #MNF #Eagles

Upcoming SNL hosts: Justin Bieber & Adam Levine. Ryan Lochte is getting his own show on E! Seriously, though, keep hitting the open mikes!

At the end of any news story, Sarah Palin's opinion is tacked on like a video of a dog surfing at the end of the local news.

Martin Luther King, Jr. was 26 years old when he led the Montgomery Bus Boycott. Seriously, though, don't rush into starting that podcast!

Manti Te'o thinks his dreams of being an NFL first-round pick are dead, but actually, they never existed.

The Mets are bringing in the fences & lowering the walls of Citi Field. The moves will greatly increase home runs by teams playing the Mets.

Carly Rae Jepsen is not the name of a pop star. It's the name of a high school teacher who marries her student or a mom who drowns her kids.

Romney refusing to pull out. It's how he ended up with five sons.

The Republican Convention was first because you can't be that white after Labor Day.

Michael Bay must be excited that Pearl Harbor Day and Armageddon Day are the same month this year.

"Give Bieber a break. He's only 19 & has had a sheltered life." - Guy Who Hasn't Read Intelligent Writings of Teenager Who Never Left Attic

When I was losing to my brother at a video game, I'd unplug the Sega. I'm onto you, Jim Harbaugh!

The Packers D clearly did not prepare for Joe Webb! I mean, where do you find a malfunctioning T-shirt cannon in Green Bay, anyway?

Anti-virus pioneer John McAfee wanted for murder. Could face a year in prison renewed annually at $39.99.