When Lebron and the Heat loses, America wins

Kind of excited about the hiring of Reid Ryan. I hate that I’m surprised that the Astros FO is doing something good.

Many prayers & positivity 2 the1 we call @the_palerider!!!

Riding a bicycle is a swell way to let everyone know you've got a substance abuse problem.

If you don't know what the tweet means, just star it and move the fuck on.

@matthelpenstill I agree you got a hot wife #congrats

Rehab is Lindsay Lohan's Cheers.

Sometimes we're nicer to people we don't like or respect to avoid the shit-storm being honest with them would bring.

My Crocs say I'm always down for a good time but my fanny pack lets you know I'm prepared for anything.

@sportsmt That's a pathetic song! Little Rock by Reba is enough is get my blood pumping.

I've been in better ditches.

Your hands would feel so good clutching my waist.

Fuck fisher!!!!

A fifth game would just delay the inevitable

Dear e-card tweeters. I hate you.

*Sends creepy @, wonders why she never responded*

* Sends 4 more just in case*

@matthelpenstill @jennifer_king Oh yes there will be plenty of drinks

Babysitting at my neighbors. Their hardwood floors are distracting. Tom Cruise may come sliding in, trying to convert me to scientology.

Sending love❤ @biggesttexanfan @iamjam_85 @garciarafael65 @htownzoutlaw713 @wintersdad @steph_marie03 @stephlxoxo @matthelpenstill

Mike Tomlin may believe that zone read is the "flavor of the day", but GB was sending Capers & his staff to A&M to learn how to defend it