Death Cab for Average Looking. #lessexcitingbandnames

Best correction ever by NY Times: "A previous version of the article incorrectly said that 'swag' stands for 'stuff we all get.'"

This hurricane isn't over until I hear Bloomberg say it's over in phonetic Spanish.

There's a satellite crashing into earth tomorrow. It's not too late to send Bruce Willis & Ben Affleck up there...permanently. #UARS

"Jeff Ross, during your performance...I wish I bit my own ears off." - Mike Tyson

I had no idea @jalenrose could podcast so (hilariously) well. Give the man his own show!

Holy crap. CNN: A United Airlines 757 is circling over Newark to burn fuel before landing, after blown tire debris flew into an engine.

@donwill Lets try to start the longest Retweet of RT. You start!

This story that @jalenrose is telling on his podcast about how he stole Patrick Ewing's TV/VCR combo back in the days is hysterical.

"I'm so happy I accomplished all my resolutions for 2011." - Nobody.

Explosion at Boston marathon. WTF. RT @boston_to_a_t: Explosion at coply pic.twitter.com/chuvC5LJQb

We have our first Gangnam Style-related death.  http://ind.pn/QWZosv  #MAYANS

Retweet if you were here in NYC for the 2003 Blackout.

I think Spanish Mayor Bloomberg (@elbloombito) needs to meet @mexicanmitt. RT @mexicanmitt: I AM THE JUAN PERCENT

Without mentioning his name once, Michelle Obama was saying, Mitt Romney was born on third base but thinks he hit a triple. #PBS

@jennydeluxe Great Quora thread on Facebook's S-1. http://t.co/VDxGmf3h

I"m not rolling my eyes. I'm exercising my eyeballs.

Am I the only one that thinks each one of these gymnasts should get like a 100 points? I mean, YOU do a back flip on a balance beam.

Hah! RT @siouxsie212: This Halloween, NYC is going as Minneapolis.

Hopefully we'll soon see rainbow smoke from the chimney of the Supreme Court building.