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Death Cab for Average Looking. #lessexcitingbandnames
Best correction ever by NY Times: "A previous version of the article incorrectly said that 'swag' stands for 'stuff we all get.'"
This hurricane isn't over until I hear Bloomberg say it's over in phonetic Spanish.
There's a satellite crashing into earth tomorrow. It's not too late to send Bruce Willis & Ben Affleck up there...permanently. #UARS
"Jeff Ross, during your performance...I wish I bit my own ears off." - Mike Tyson
Holy crap. CNN: A United Airlines 757 is circling over Newark to burn fuel before landing, after blown tire debris flew into an engine.
"I'm so happy I accomplished all my resolutions for 2011." - Nobody.
I definitely have a few questions for the blind man I just saw walk out of the movie theater.
I wish NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden warned us that someone would accidentally email the entire Brown University alumni database today.
Retweet if you were here in NYC for the 2003 Blackout.
Without mentioning his name once, Michelle Obama was saying, Mitt Romney was born on third base but thinks he hit a triple. #PBS
I"m not rolling my eyes. I'm exercising my eyeballs.