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Paramedics should be allowed to go back to people's houses and say "Remember when I saved your life? Yeah. I need help moving a couch."
Just visited Mitt's website. It says I have to pay $1 for 2 days access to the "Premium Budget Plans."
Apparently when someone is uninteresting in real life it is inappropriate to push on their nose and say "unfollow."
I know this now.
Please RT if you know someone who is alive today only because you can't afford a hitman.
I think the blizzard didn't pan out because we've taken God out of our meteorological schools.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: Life gets a lot easier when you realize that no one else knows what the fuck they're doing either
"Can I eat it? Can I have sex with it? Will it kill me?" - The three great questions of life
I think it's important to have a daily reminder to never give up on your stupid, stupid dreams.
Today in Boston is the day every police officer, firefighter, and EMT/Paramedic trains for, but hopes never comes.
Boston is in good hands.
Every airport in the world has two token German guys, wandering around lost, with hiking backpacks on.
Sometimes, when bad things happen, I think 'Argh! Why me!?!?' And then I'm like 'Oh, right. All that bad shit I do.'
A recloseable Bud Light bottle?
Who in the history of Bud Light has said "I can't finish this, but I wish I could save it for later."
The economy is so bad that Exxon laid off 25 Congressmen.
I hate it when Jesus sees his shadow and Easter is this late.
Ya done, Canada? Because for the next week 'Merica is gonna be drunk and hurting ourselves with fireworks. Maybe start a war. We dunno yet.
Going shopping on Christmas Eve is likely the most realistic training you'll ever get for the zombie apocalypse.
Not a lot of people bitching about overpaid government employees when they're out apprehending terrorists.
Oh, me? I'm just patiently waiting for Pat Robertson to explain whether I blame the Muslims or the homosexuals for that earthquake.
Invented white chocolate milk. Formerly a remote site medic. Now domesticated in an ER. Hilarity ensues. Marine Corps Combat Vet. http://t.co/TnildZFHuK