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Just visited Mitt's website. It says I have to pay $1 for 2 days access to the "Premium Budget Plans."
Apparently when someone is uninteresting in real life it is inappropriate to push on their nose and say "unfollow."
I know this now.
Please RT if you know someone who is alive today only because you can't afford a hitman.
I think the blizzard didn't pan out because we've taken God out of our meteorological schools.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: Life gets a lot easier when you realize that no one else knows what the fuck they're doing either
"Can I eat it? Can I have sex with it? Will it kill me?" - The three great questions of life
I think it's important to have a daily reminder to never give up on your stupid, stupid dreams.
Today in Boston is the day every police officer, firefighter, and EMT/Paramedic trains for, but hopes never comes.
Boston is in good hands.
Our health plan won't cover seizures. It's our religious belief "fits" are demonic possession and we can't support you being a host of evil.
A recloseable Bud Light bottle?
Who in the history of Bud Light has said "I can't finish this, but I wish I could save it for later."
Sometimes, when bad things happen, I think 'Argh! Why me!?!?' And then I'm like 'Oh, right. All that bad shit I do.'
Every airport in the world has two token German guys, wandering around lost, with hiking backpacks on.
The economy is so bad that Exxon laid off 25 Congressmen.
Ya done, Canada? Because for the next week 'Merica is gonna be drunk and hurting ourselves with fireworks. Maybe start a war. We dunno yet.
I hate it when Jesus sees his shadow and Easter is this late.
Paramedic. Traveler. Drinker. USMC Combat Vet (Iraq 04). I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing, and neither do you. Hilarity ensues.
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