I need cake

@donovanstrain outtie belly buttons, in general, should be illegal.

#cousins http://t.co/aA3n1wZo

Toast with peanut butter and honey. #Bomb

I was so happy this time, last year.... I can't believe how much has changed.

@jpbboyce @godlessatheist You are not catching on, so I'll tell you in clear English. Atheist is spelled a-t-h-E-I-s-t. Fool.

2 a.m. photo shoot with Dollin Jack Bates. pic.twitter.com/F8rRyZHTIJ

I like that my apartment building shakes when a train goes by. It's honestly something I am going to miss.

@mkriegbaumjr it's nice sometimes.

@veryrudetweets To be fair, nice guys are so rare. There is one for every 700,000 girls.

Ahh! SO glad to be off work and HOME with no obligations for the evening. First things first: clothes OFF. Second: tv ON. Third: nothing...

Yay. The housekeeper comes today. Im really in the mood to be sexually harassed by a middle aged divorcee with kids, who can't speak English

Go away sun, I'm not prepared for you today.

I love to read #RantsAndRaves on #Craigslist. It makes me feel really good about society. #Racist #Pigs

Nothing like a Monday starting with confrontation. Here we go!

I'm feeling pretty good today! I think I'll celebrate by showering AND shaving. That is a rarity.

Okay. I forced myself to look. I actually wasn't as bad as I thought. Hopefully no more tragedies happen and I can work and catch up now.

Oh, S, N, double E, T, CHES; Sneetches!

Dang... I'm ready for bed already! It's way too early for sleep yet.

@painted_eel bummer