Quit blaming your parents for everything wrong in your life. Be grateful they saw you through your teeenage years and didn't kill you.

If you are sarcastic, with a soft voice and a sweet smile, you can be miles away before the other person knows what what hit them.

Pets are so easy to love. They are honest and react to kindness without wanting to know what's in your bank. Humans could take a lesson.

No one should ever feel worthless. Not with body parts selling at such a high premium.

I have been on twitter a little over two years now. I think it's time I tried to stand up and see if my legs still work.

I have days when wearing a hat is the only use I have made of my head.

Quit worrying what others think of me years ago, what I think of me is all that matters. The voice in my head is mean enough.

When I see ads on TV with smiling, happy housewives using a new cleaning product, the only thing I want to buy are the meds they must be on.

I log into Twitter when I first get up because I love the smell of insanity in the morning.

The best gifts don't always come wrapped, sometimes they are just words you want to hear.

Being a little bit crazy is like being a little bit pregnant - you can only hide it for so long.

When people ask me "how are you" I will always try to make a joke. It's better than breaking down in tears in front of the mailman, again.

The difference between being called crazy or being called eccentric depends on how much money you have.

Friend said I was becoming antisocial. Ridiculous. You build one little moat and people jump to hasty conclusions.

Why do people refer to really bad people as 'a dog'? Most of the dogs I've know are nicer than most people, and better looking.

Every time the grocery baggers ask if I want help to my car, I feel like telling them yes and climbing in the cart.

Just saw account with 3900 followers and no tweets. Now I know what I've been doing wrong.

After a certain age you should always dress for company every morning. You never know when the paramedics will show up.

One nice thing about getting older is you have no enemies. They have either died or you can't remember who they were.

Scary fact; at least 25/% of population is on some drug for mental illness. Scary part is 75% aren't.