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Long story short, my mailman is the only one who knows where I masturbate.
"Boy, I don't think I could possibly eat any more" -Sarcastic fat guy in buffet line with a red T-Shirt
Dude, did you just fart?
Nah man, it was the futon
All right. Who put popcorn in my socks?
Fart-Let's be more than friends.
Me-Let's just take it slow.
Fart-LET'S DO IT!!
Me-What? NO!? Fart-COME ON!
#MentionSomeoneYouLoveAndCareAbout Scatman Crothers
Putting your penis as close to a black people without them noticing #RejectedOlympicEvents
Who Adam Kantor'd on the carpet?
WHO SHIT IN THE FUCKING LOBSTER TANK!?
Haven't clipped my toenails in forever! LOL!
Omg theresugfa someone is in my househge call th police now jusigd
WHERE ARE YOU'RE TROUSERS!?
They're uhhh... Well, you see...um...I...
You're in Walgreens man!
skirt skert skart skurt