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Long story short, my mailman is the only one who knows where I masturbate.
"Boy, I don't think I could possibly eat any more" -Sarcastic fat guy in buffet line with a red T-Shirt
Dude, did you just fart?
Nah man, it was the futon
Hahaha gnarly
#CasualSurferDudeHaiku
Fart-Let's be more than friends.
Me-Let's just take it slow.
Fart-LET'S DO IT!!
Me-What? NO!? Fart-COME ON!
Me-AHHHH!
*Shits pants*
Putting your penis as close to a black people without them noticing #RejectedOlympicEvents
@jb8408 you ever have Aunt Annie's pretzels? They're good. A little TOO good.
WHERE ARE YOU'RE TROUSERS!?
They're uhhh... Well, you see...um...I...
You're in Walgreens man!
#BritishEmployeeYellingAtNakedComsumerHaiku