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I'm doing a shot every time one of my tweets gets a fav or a RT tonight. I'm on my way to really drunk. Try and poison me
That McDonalds fish McBites commercial should play everytime someone takes a dirty girl home. Fishy fishay
Wearing pants in bed is like wearing socks with sandals. It just shouldn't be done. It's wrong.
The good people in the world outnumber the bad. Stick together people.
All the single mothers...all the single mothers... If you didn't want it, put a Nuva ring on it.
I have way too many hoodies and t shirts in my closet. I should probably date someone so i can "lose" them.
Ladies, find a man that's loyal to his team. Stays a fan through the hard times. He'll be loyal to you too.
If Reese Cups aren't your favorite candy then I question your patriotism.
When disaster strikes we learn who doesn't know the difference between "affected" and "effected"
You know you have been in love when you hate your favorite song.
Does Bill Self ever write himself post its with the title of Note To Self?
You must drown the Oreos until the bubbles stop.
Hindsight says I shouldn't have made that public. You fuckers are assholes and I love it
I am Sam Malone's bastard son. Baseball fan, music lover, bartender, and an all around good guy. Willie Nelson is my homeboy. http://roscomalone16.blogspot.com/