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Spent the last 2 hours trying to set fire to the rain. Adele is full of shit.
If u r arguing w/ some1 u don't no very well, try out this line for a sure victory: "wow, what a shitty way to spend my birthday :-( "
Sure, I've never boxed before, but I am in a mugh higher weight class than Floyd Mayweather Jr so I would just pummel him if we ever fought!
The Universe is 70 billion light years wide & my wife is worried about a small dent in the car?!? C'mon babe! What's the big picture here!?
I wish there was a radio station that only played the empowering, inspirational background music they play on credit card commercials!
Does anyone know where I can find a GOOD Male Nursing Bra?
If you feel passionate about something, there's no reason why you shouldn't get into a shouting match during a job interview.
I could go ALL NIGHT in the club. Assuming "the club" is a never-ending bowl of delicious Frosted Flakes cereal with soy milk.
This is a mass message to all my close friends and loved ones: I am stranded at this autobody shop and f%#& all of you.
I really wish they had an elevator at the YMCA
The thing about buying a used car is you have NO IDEA how much the old owner farted in it.
*Rushes out of bed to get McD's breakfast* *Looks at clock* 10:26 *tears up* I am trapped in morning hell.
1 of my biggest fears is filling up a car tire so full it pops as I fill it. I usually get dizzy from blowing before it gets to that point.
Those hits like Maldonado's were the only hits I'd get when I played high school ball #brewers
Michael just launched his cap and forgot to take the tassel off. Could see that comin' from a mile away (because I did that too)
Whoever said “teeth are not tools” has obviously never been to the DMV.
Toothpaste on sale at Walmart.. I'm sure it's fine *buys* *brushes teeth* *head blows up*
Going to play 18 today. Hope I get there early to properly warm up.
Accounting Connoisseur. I take NOTHING seriously *dead stare* I'm not your father's CPA. . . unless you put in a good word for me !! http://www.taxrelaxer.com
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