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  • MeetingBoy
      Meeting Boy @MeetingBoy

    In space no one can hear you scream. On a conference call no one can see you give them the finger.

    • 1,062
    • FAVS
    PanicRestroomdaisycrazygirlimarielliottlikeabeecat__MotherHellfirenot1ofyourfansnocturnologyHotSnuff__________
    • 157
    • RETWEETS
    daisycrazygirlLindaInDisguiselikeabeecat__Mezimooshanetheveinmarkjowenkarthik82AaronBuckingham
  • MeetingBoy
      Meeting Boy @MeetingBoy

    I'm pretty sure the dinosaurs died out when they stopped gathering food and started having status meetings to discuss gathering food.

    • 226
    • FAVS
    CatherineLMKCherishMelikeabeecat__heygambleMotherHellfireStephenBCramernot1ofyourfansnocturnology
    • 419
    • RETWEETS
    likeabeecat__PicaBalletje__not1ofyourfansNo_not_that_one__aglaia781s0osleepieMJPullenCOOKlEFOREVER
  • MeetingBoy
      Meeting Boy @MeetingBoy

    I know it's cold out, but I'm pretty sure that boots up to your cameltoe is not appropriate business attire.

    • 562
    • FAVS
    DrDerekDeenocturnologyNo_not_that_one__VoiceofgarthDudeInABearSuitstupendualbywizzyChaddyLlama
    • 38
    • RETWEETS
    dayallnashchelah_reezChaddyLlamamisssmallzzruffyoungBorn2bVildBalugagirlSkookum86
  • MeetingBoy
      Meeting Boy @MeetingBoy

    Thanks for the voicemail about the email you sent. If you send me another email about the voicemail, then we'll complete the circle of life.

    • 331
    • FAVS
    PanicRestroomJljudy38JenHeleneLittlebdsavage_likeabeecat__MotherHellfirecorinnemlwswTattooedMisery
    • 262
    • RETWEETS
    jwtolmanKimberWitchLindaInDisguiseStephenBCramerpatty_moralesNo_not_that_one__VoiceofgarthShane__McC
    OverlandParkerFlyoverJoel
  • MeetingBoy
      Meeting Boy @MeetingBoy

    Today is the one year anniversary of this 6-week project.

    • 299
    • FAVS
    rtizabidebrajojoRadioNicholeMarwah_AlameriGuyDeNombeingtheojeaesarDarkntwistd
    • 234
    • RETWEETS
    RadioNicholeGuyDeNomJakobDrudIcecreamGeniusshutupadrianSmrtBoboladybugpixCaroline_Hno1
  • MeetingBoy
      Meeting Boy @MeetingBoy

    I've counted 8 people so far whose New Years resolutions include "loose weight". Can I add spelling to your list too?

    • 178
    • FAVS
    likeabeecat__No_not_that_one__VoiceofgarthDudeInABearSuitMaryD_Anonlorlorlori________moiragallagadebbiemtl
    • 315
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_historyfullpaakhrooTroyPamtroymoiragallagaSavvyGirlsPCastartohlinejdavid17TheRandyHeinz
  • MeetingBoy
      Meeting Boy @MeetingBoy

    Vacation isn't over when you show up to work; it's over the minute you set your alarm.

    • 168
    • FAVS
    ZooomingevylesliejeanneneCharlie628IamAlfonsooNotPamBeesleymrgaucherstephen_walljmking91
    • 317
    • RETWEETS
    Marching_GunnerInigoIrajmynameisdeenaMcJaggerNEwhereitsIamAlfonsooMegz_106mrgaucher
    foodandwhining
  • MeetingBoy
      Meeting Boy @MeetingBoy

    Sorry, kids, all the trees are gone because people keep printing out copies of PowerPoint for everyone even though it's up on the screen.

    • 201
    • FAVS
    MotherHellfireidlegloryanomalousamandaRxitWoundsSweepea27scriptdaveShanaRose21Yarmouth_Road
    • 253
    • RETWEETS
    cs_clementeGnomee1RxitWoundsScanCouverg1863not1ofyourfansReslLikeHazeljuanderfullife
  • MeetingBoy
      Meeting Boy @MeetingBoy

    LinkedIn is a parallel universe where everyone has a great job and works at a great company.

    • 160
    • FAVS
    robkennedy1381crunkinpremovapidbabbleTrishAGalvinZachOnLinkedInj_c_fitzJljudy38Jenfutureflapper47
    • 284
    • RETWEETS
    crunkinpremowildarker666j_c_fitzEdClay1LindaInDisguisetaherqghadialijonathandmelloLaNinhaHit
    summerofbennyVoiceofgarth
  • MeetingBoy
      Meeting Boy @MeetingBoy

    Jetsons? Hardly. The future turns out to be playing Scrabble from the toilet at work with someone halfway around the world.

    • 191
    • FAVS
    not1ofyourfansNo_not_that_one__VoiceofgarthgeekycookerRoyLungeJrPabstBlueCraigfergi2211daneZie
    • 223
    • RETWEETS
    chelah_reezcreativemercuryjostravelermaxfuckerysbobstGeeedubyadennytoomanytoseeanymore
    MessJenkins
  • MeetingBoy
      Meeting Boy @MeetingBoy

    My tolerance for idiots is at an all-time low today. I used to have some immunity built up, but there must be a new strain.

    • 247
    • FAVS
    MotherHellfirenot1ofyourfansChuckyNookieVoiceofgarthMacKooliostupendugangtokayb_dimitri
    • 166
    • RETWEETS
    not1ofyourfansfullpaakhroochelah_reezlorlorlori________debbiemtlRS3FeedRobinMarieGouldKellib3
    FastGurl
  • MeetingBoy
      Meeting Boy @MeetingBoy

    My favorite part of the conference call was the first 20 minutes of "who just joined?"

    • 164
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    brookejenagarbagehead235CherishMepmclellanlikeabeecat__MotherHellfireNo_not_that_one__Voiceofgarth
    • 243
    • RETWEETS
    CherishMelikeabeecat__tauntiAnnaSiracusafullpaakhrooMistypikeporterstupidcorplingoMetNightOwl
  • MeetingBoy
      Meeting Boy @MeetingBoy

    I have a strongly-held religious belief that meetings shouldn't last longer than 30 minutes, so when will the Supreme Court back me up?

    • 201
    • FAVS
    spewed_icingJ_Duffieldsafa_alameriAsapJayCobbuoyantexplorer9_to_5_DiariesITProJerkmktgbitch
    • 183
    • RETWEETS
    kkostuckhillratkunalasharsafa_alameribc400afrizahani9_to_5_DiariesmusicallyAlly
  • MeetingBoy
      Meeting Boy @MeetingBoy

    THE BRONX ZOO SNAKE HAS BEEN FOUND. Which is great news, because i've killed at least 14 black extension cords since Monday.

    • 212
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    Voiceofgarthstupendupinatumbolorlorlori________JustinBpackfan____renee_suleris_cLaN07LindaInDisguise
    • 161
    • RETWEETS
    MarketLanceJMC_Taylorjanedefordmodernrubbishsf__uccoachlarryMASantos_23vickierbaileyKnoll_Troll
    SmethanieRexHuppkeMrFornicator
  • MeetingBoy
      Meeting Boy @MeetingBoy

    Mock the guy who predicted the end of the world all you want, but he's $70 million richer and you still have to go to work Monday.

    • 87
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    VoiceofgarthstupendumoiragallagaMaryD_Anonlorlorlori________debbiemtls_cLaN07AClkwrkStarfish
    • 277
    • RETWEETS
    KatieLovesCFCLoingirderthefinmister123lapumidonkandawerdnapaynefatwimplealexsusma
  • MeetingBoy
      Meeting Boy @MeetingBoy

    In honor of Columbus I got lost on the way to the office and ended up in Philly, but rather than admit I was wrong, I declared it for Spain.

    • 122
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    VoiceofgarthMacKooliostupendumoiragallagaMaryD_Anonlorlorlori________Masharonas_cLaN07
    • 240
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    KatieLovesCFCfavstar1000favsZenaida_LeetimrawsonLostinthecubeadelitacavadaKeith_Not_KevinMrsMarinT
  • MeetingBoy
      Meeting Boy @MeetingBoy

    "Some people are so passive-aggressive," I say from my anonymous internet account. 

    • 340
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    VoiceofgarthMacKooliostupendupinatumboemsykaymoiragallagaMaryD_Anonlorlorlori________
    • 12
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    BigBrianKimanichelah_reezBalugagirlkarleaLizzieLynJohnHarmstonFavstar500FavsMDinOK
  • MeetingBoy
      Meeting Boy @MeetingBoy

    We didn’t get MLK Day off, but then again our company’s idea of diversity is to hire a white girl not named Megan, Emily or Jennifer.

    • 230
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    theAdamWswittles98kerissmithJAmewhinneykcz_ws_mikesojournoffaithchrissie_cronin_notyourmom_
    • 117
    • RETWEETS
    KhayaKLauzIcecreamGeniusTheMichelleJaneBeinNeenjaHfrimcool__f42892934marshmellinEz4u2say_Janis
  • MeetingBoy
      Meeting Boy @MeetingBoy

    Were Moses alive today they would be known as the Ten Best Practices, presented in PowerPoint and followed by 40 years of status meetings.

    • 107
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    JillFenderMotherHellfireNo_not_that_one__Voiceofgarthrichihorrorstupendub_dimitriArlnee
    • 235
    • RETWEETS
    No_not_that_one__chelah_reezsontologychedz007richihorrorcreativemercuryfullpaakhroostupidcorplingo
  • MeetingBoy
    • 169
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    ednam14LawHammer21ChillAndIllchris_b4TimidAuditoraKhalifa101SaimsPhelpsie88
    • 171
    • RETWEETS
    HR_RashiOlieKopetskachris_b4penraDaniel_Denisovalexplus_deabbienourmelWavywizardry
@MeetingBoy

@MeetingBoy

I hate my job.

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