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  • MeetingBoy
      Meeting Boy @MeetingBoy

    In space no one can hear you scream. On a conference call no one can see you give them the finger.

    • 1,058
    • FAVS
    MotherHellfirenot1ofyourfansnocturnologyHotSnuff__________WhatsNikemusky86SmurfetteDEyourfavasshole
    • 155
    • RETWEETS
    Mezimooshanetheveinmarkjowenkarthik82AaronBuckinghamcrsofrchelah_reezshoaibhb
  • MeetingBoy
      Meeting Boy @MeetingBoy

    I'm pretty sure the dinosaurs died out when they stopped gathering food and started having status meetings to discuss gathering food.

    • 222
    • FAVS
    MotherHellfireStephenBCramernot1ofyourfansnocturnologyshanetheveinNo_not_that_oneaglaia781Voiceofgarth
    • 418
    • RETWEETS
    PicaBalletjenot1ofyourfansNo_not_that_oneaglaia781s0osleepieMJPullenCOOKlEFOREVERpriyankaharne
  • MeetingBoy
      Meeting Boy @MeetingBoy

    I know it's cold out, but I'm pretty sure that boots up to your cameltoe is not appropriate business attire.

    • 561
    • FAVS
    nocturnologyNo_not_that_oneVoiceofgarthDudeInABearSuitstupendualbywizzyChaddyLlamaMaryD_Anon
    • 38
    • RETWEETS
    dayallnashchelah_reezChaddyLlamamisssmallzzruffyoungBorn2bVildBalugagirlSkookum86
  • MeetingBoy
      Meeting Boy @MeetingBoy

    Thanks for the voicemail about the email you sent. If you send me another email about the voicemail, then we'll complete the circle of life.

    • 326
    • FAVS
    MotherHellfirecorinnemlwswTattooedMiseryStephenBCramerChuckyNookieNo_not_that_oneMoronycFredPollack
    • 259
    • RETWEETS
    StephenBCramerpatty_moralesNo_not_that_oneVoiceofgarthShane__McChoops1aAaronBuckinghamNicoJovi
    OverlandParkerFlyoverJoel
  • MeetingBoy
      Meeting Boy @MeetingBoy

    I've counted 8 people so far whose New Years resolutions include "loose weight". Can I add spelling to your list too?

    • 177
    • FAVS
    No_not_that_oneVoiceofgarthDudeInABearSuitMaryD_Anonlorlorlori________moiragallagadebbiemtlGreeblehaus
    • 315
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_historythenesseffectTroyPamtroymoiragallagaSavvyGirlsPCastartohlinejdavid17TheRandyHeinz
  • MeetingBoy
      Meeting Boy @MeetingBoy

    Vacation isn't over when you show up to work; it's over the minute you set your alarm.

    • 150
    • FAVS
    chloe_radcliffePWOCIsaGodinSacredNatureikebeattinajayneworkmankejaedLanaSamara
    • 309
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_historychelah_reezseancmadchloe_radcliffellywrchIsaGodinVenusRetiredAliceKyteler
    foodandwhining
  • MeetingBoy
      Meeting Boy @MeetingBoy

    Sorry, kids, all the trees are gone because people keep printing out copies of PowerPoint for everyone even though it's up on the screen.

    • 201
    • FAVS
    MotherHellfireidlegloryamandaoakleafRxitWoundsSweepea27scriptdaveShanaRose21Yarmouth_Road
    • 253
    • RETWEETS
    cs_clementeGnomee1RxitWoundsScanCouverg1863not1ofyourfansReslLikeHazeljuanderfullife
  • MeetingBoy
      Meeting Boy @MeetingBoy

    LinkedIn is a parallel universe where everyone has a great job and works at a great company.

    • 152
    • FAVS
    not1ofyourfansNo_not_that_oneFredPollackHormonellakingstonstreetThe_Dorkster______singingdoves13Tim_Hawken
    • 282
    • RETWEETS
    taherqghadialijonathandmelloLaNinhaHittriatletoabdinoor122Tim_HawkenVoiceofgarthteamcatmagnet
    summerofbennyVoiceofgarth
  • MeetingBoy
      Meeting Boy @MeetingBoy

    Jetsons? Hardly. The future turns out to be playing Scrabble from the toilet at work with someone halfway around the world.

    • 191
    • FAVS
    not1ofyourfansNo_not_that_oneVoiceofgarthgeekycookerRoyLungeJrPabstBlueCraigfergi2211daneZie
    • 223
    • RETWEETS
    chelah_reezcreativemercuryjostravelermaxfuckerysbobstGeeedubyadennytoomanytoseeanymore
    MessJenkins
  • MeetingBoy
      Meeting Boy @MeetingBoy

    My tolerance for idiots is at an all-time low today. I used to have some immunity built up, but there must be a new strain.

    • 247
    • FAVS
    MotherHellfirenot1ofyourfansChuckyNookieVoiceofgarthMacKooliostupendugangtokayb_dimitri
    • 166
    • RETWEETS
    not1ofyourfansthenesseffectchelah_reezlorlorlori________debbiemtlRS3FeedRobinMarieGouldKellib3
    FastGurl
  • MeetingBoy
      Meeting Boy @MeetingBoy

    My favorite part of the conference call was the first 20 minutes of "who just joined?"

    • 159
    • FAVS
    MotherHellfireNo_not_that_oneVoiceofgarthMacKooliostupenduScarpysWorldCarolineCaseyMitchoacan
    • 242
    • RETWEETS
    tauntiAnnaSiracusathenesseffectMistypikeporterstupidcorplingoMetNightOwlAaronBuckinghamNicoJovi
  • MeetingBoy
      Meeting Boy @MeetingBoy

    I have a strongly-held religious belief that meetings shouldn't last longer than 30 minutes, so when will the Supreme Court back me up?

    • 201
    • FAVS
    J_Duffieldsafa_alameriPlatoBasquiattejaamladi9_to_5_DiariesITProJerkmktgbitchscarymom76
    • 182
    • RETWEETS
    hillratkunalasharsafa_alameribc400afrizahani9_to_5_DiariesmusicallyAllyITProJerk
  • MeetingBoy
      Meeting Boy @MeetingBoy

    THE BRONX ZOO SNAKE HAS BEEN FOUND. Which is great news, because i've killed at least 14 black extension cords since Monday.

    • 212
    • FAVS
    Voiceofgarthstupendupinatumbolorlorlori________JustinBpackfan____renee_suleris_cLaN07LindaInDisguise
    • 161
    • RETWEETS
    MarketLanceJMC_Taylorjanedefordmodernrubbishsf__uccoachlarryMASantos_23vickierbaileyKnoll_Troll
    SmethanieRexHuppkeMrFornicator
  • MeetingBoy
      Meeting Boy @MeetingBoy

    Mock the guy who predicted the end of the world all you want, but he's $70 million richer and you still have to go to work Monday.

    • 87
    • FAVS
    VoiceofgarthstupendumoiragallagaMaryD_Anonlorlorlori________debbiemtls_cLaN07AClkwrkStarfish
    • 277
    • RETWEETS
    KatieLovesCFCLoingirderthefinmister123lapumidonkandawerdnapaynefatwimplealexsusma
  • MeetingBoy
      Meeting Boy @MeetingBoy

    In honor of Columbus I got lost on the way to the office and ended up in Philly, but rather than admit I was wrong, I declared it for Spain.

    • 122
    • FAVS
    VoiceofgarthMacKooliostupendumoiragallagaMaryD_Anonlorlorlori________Masharonas_cLaN07
    • 240
    • RETWEETS
    KatieLovesCFCfavstar1000favsZenaida_LeetimrawsonLostinthecubeadelitacavadaKeith_Not_KevinMrsMarinT
  • MeetingBoy
      Meeting Boy @MeetingBoy

    "Some people are so passive-aggressive," I say from my anonymous internet account. 

    • 340
    • FAVS
    VoiceofgarthMacKooliostupendupinatumboemsykaymoiragallagaMaryD_Anonlorlorlori________
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    BigBrianKimanichelah_reezBalugagirlkarleaLizzieLynJohnHarmstonFavstar500FavsMDinOK
  • MeetingBoy
      Meeting Boy @MeetingBoy

    Were Moses alive today they would be known as the Ten Best Practices, presented in PowerPoint and followed by 40 years of status meetings.

    • 106
    • FAVS
    MotherHellfireNo_not_that_oneVoiceofgarthrichihorrorstupendub_dimitriArlneeMitchoacan
    • 235
    • RETWEETS
    No_not_that_onechelah_reezsontologychedz007richihorrorcreativemercurythenesseffectstupidcorplingo
  • MeetingBoy
      Meeting Boy @MeetingBoy

    Pussies call in sick. Real men drag their ass in and do nothing all day.

    • 267
    • FAVS
    MotherHellfireVoiceofgarthTasnuvaBPostedandBeamedMacKooliostupendub_dimitriMitchoacan
    • 68
    • RETWEETS
    PostedandBeamedGeek_in_hidingFavstar250chrisviccaroKevinDeanGandersWeetDisTract____MrsDimiraBalugagirl
  • MeetingBoy
      Meeting Boy @MeetingBoy

    Not one reporter has called to ask if I'm OK with having a gay coworker. Do reporters only ask professional athletes if they are bigots?

    • 165
    • FAVS
    maggiemaxie85SPepOfficialeds562kathrynmorgannmklnrdwrightchristinaPeaceoption619shredsurf
    • 167
    • RETWEETS
    olson_hillKMau_juliosangasdella11darkmremellifluentmcyclingfiend74tyaz77
  • MeetingBoy
      Meeting Boy @MeetingBoy

    President Obama apologizes for being late, but he had to wait to print his speech until Adobe was done updating Flash.
    #SOTU

    • 165
    • FAVS
    kitonenelliebelle428trepanosNinkasiDolleyMitchieDilahlahlouYPipstergrevabon
    • 160
    • RETWEETS
    9_to_5_DiariesSamanRahimiansfhicks76dot_comaJakubDubrovskymarek_jelenBurySuevonkarama
@MeetingBoy

@MeetingBoy
Pro

I hate my job.