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@MeetingBoy
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@MeetingBoy's (Meeting Boy) most faved Tweets...
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In space no one can hear you scream. On a conference call no one can see you give them the finger.
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MeetingBoy
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I know it's cold out, but I'm pretty sure that boots up to your cameltoe is not appropriate business attire.
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MeetingBoy
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"Some people are so passive-aggressive," I say from my anonymous internet account.
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MeetingBoy
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Oh, look! The CEO brought in a consultant to tell him what we've been saying for months. Sure beats listening!
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MeetingBoy
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"Dumb it down. Remember, you're presenting it to management."
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MeetingBoy
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No, I wasn't playing Devil's Advocate. I really think your idea is stupid.
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MeetingBoy
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Getting an excellent performance review but then no raise is like being told you get dessert then learning dessert is celery.
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Meetings don't kill people, meetings kill the spirit of people.
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That email you claim I never sent you? Here it is. Along with your REPLY TO IT.
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MeetingBoy
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"Ummm... we're not on mute." --famous last words, conference call edition.
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Career advice: When the boss tells a lame joke, laugh at him for telling it. He won't know the difference.
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MeetingBoy
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Look, lady, it's 12:30. I'm not doing work. I only came back from lunch because my iPhone battery was low.
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MeetingBoy
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Someone is in my office requesting work at 4:58 on Friday. I have a question. How do I dispose of the body?
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MeetingBoy
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Another status meeting? I can't believe I danced my way out of the ghetto for this.
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MeetingBoy
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"We are a REAL department now. People are starting to blame things on us."
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MeetingBoy
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Definition of insanity: holding the same meeting with the same people every week and expecting different results.
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MeetingBoy
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If you find yourself saying "but I was only trying to help" a lot, you're not helping.
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Of course it wasn't convincing. That 60-slide PowerPoint wasn't to convince people, it was to break their will.
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When you use hand sanitizer 4 times during a 30-minute PowerPoint presentation, the rest of us wonder what you're doing under the table.
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Friday afternoon in the office. Time to take a knee and run the clock out.
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MeetingBoy
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