Am I the only one who sounds it out in my head as "Wed-nes-day", when I'm writing Wednesday?

Your so vain you probably think that strippers are interested in you

You had me at "hey.. Wanna see something weird"

Atleast I wasn't born retarded.

Workin on myself to be a better person. More people should try it.

Whenever I see old people looking at me I just feel like they are envying me because I'm still young and they are almost done for. Haha

I've never gotten sick over the thought of a person until now.

SHUT THE FUCK UP, BIRD SQUAKING OUTSIDE MY WINDOW KAH KAH KAH FUCK YOU!!!!!

People that say don't give a bum money, they'll just buy drugs. Have some heart. You wouldn't wanna be sober living like they do, either.

Someone bring me cough syrup that will put me in a coma for a couple days.

Why didn't Tarzan have a beard?

I don't like drinking much... but when I do it's go big or go home.

Some things are better left unsaid?
I call bullshit. Say what's on your mind.

That happy moment when you can fit back into your old jeans from years ago>
☺

Laughing at a tweaker running all fuckin weird by the lake. I think he heard us because he started sprinting after our car.

I appreciate my car so much more after driving my moms car for a week. 😄 #MiniMommyVanThingy

I like watching movies where people have shittier lives than me so it makes me feel better about myself. ☺

Can't fucking wait to graduate.

If someone is nice to you, there is no reason to be an ass hole back to them just because they aren't the "coolest". Grow up?

Where's a pellet gun when I need one