Popular Recent Faved By Given
Friends: 340
Followers: 626
Favs Given: 3,357
Favs Rec'd: 9,100
@Mela_De's (Pamela I Amela) most faved Tweets...
Mela_De
"I'm sorry, am I boring you?"

"Yes you are, I appreciate your apology."
@Mela_De
Mela_De
If you're ugly & have a small penis then we're never gonna fu-

Oh who am I kidding. I have no standards anymore.
@Mela_De
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Mela_De
Dudes girlfriend loved to stroke his balls after sex. One day dude asked "why?" She said "i miss mine."
@Mela_De
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Mela_De
I know exactly what'll float your boat.


Water.
@Mela_De
Mela_De
Peace be with you.
And with you.
And you.
Not you tho.
I'm not a miracle worker fucktard.
@Mela_De
Mela_De
its just so wrong that i havent gotten laid in 21 months. im not even married.
@Mela_De
Mela_De
I went to the gym today. It was my second time GO ME!






The first time I signed up.

This second time I renewed.
@Mela_De
Mela_De
I will have sex with every one of you that stars me. If you're hot, I'll have sex with you TWICE. If you're a sock monkey, its unlimited.
@Mela_De
Mela_De
Before Twitter I was just a girl w/no life who hadnt gotten laid in a while. Now I'm... that same girl. But I can tweet. So there's that.
@Mela_De
Mela_De
I have so many witty tweets in my head. But I'm easily distrac Oooo cake
@Mela_De
Mela_De
Have your people star my tweets. We'll do lunch. Or sex. Whatever.
@Mela_De
Mela_De
OMG OMG THE MOON IS GONE THE MOON IS GONE


Oh wait. It was behind me. False alarm.
@Mela_De
Mela_De
Blue is the color my balls would be if I had balls.
@Mela_De
Mela_De
Things I do when sober:
1. Wake up in my own bed
2. Pee IN toilet
3. Drive to liquor store
4. Drive home from liquor store
5. Drink
@Mela_De
Mela_De
This whole "acting like I care" thing is real hard work.
@Mela_De
Mela_De
Wow. I just lost 3 pounds after that fart. Fellas?
@Mela_De
Mela_De
People who live in glass houses should never throw stones, obviously. Oh, and should never skip shaving.
@Mela_De
Mela_De
i havent heard from britney fuck vids in a while.


im worried.
@Mela_De
Mela_De
Its true.. I hated being called a slut in high school. But I sure do miss being one 10 years later.
@Mela_De
Mela_De
This girl is such a-
"What are you doing?"

"Nothin"

"Youre tweeting about me arent you?"

"No, never!"
-stupid bimbo w/obviously fake tits
@Mela_De
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