Everybody, go follow @god on Twitter. Oh, and also, go ahead and unfollow him IRL. Kthxbye.

The difference between being self-employed and being unemployed is basically in your head.

It's Diet Coke o'clock.

Guy grumbles in Chinese: "Fucking foreigners." I smugly retort in Chinese: "Except the fucking foreigner speaks Chinese." Stunned silence.

Today, matching socks. Tomorrow, the world.

"If you don't want to be forgotten as soon as you are dead, either write things worth reading or do things worth writing." Benjamin Franklin

It's okay that bad things come in threes, because good things come in force.

Flat shoes mean flat mood.

</summer>

So, now what?

Cicadas sound like childhood.

2012 > 2011



Dear hotel room phone with the blinking red light: WHY YOU GOT TO LIE TO ME? I HAS NO NEW MESSAGES.

Dear SXSW dude who shook his head at me as I jaywalked across the street: It's okay, I'm a local.

"I didn't mean a binary order of magnitude; I work in base-10."

"Soy beans are so weird. I just don't trust something that makes milk AND meat." "You mean, like a cow?" "Oh. Didn't think of that."

"It's like the unicorn of cribbage boards."

I get so sad when the movie starts because it means the previews are over.

God bless America and its retail return policies.