Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
I love you for your cute face but mostly your porn history.
Thanks to @huffingtonpost for including me in this week's Thanksgiving tweets. I'm in excellent company
There is no justification for bleeding on Kashmir.
Come to think of it,a digital Govt will use the internet to beef up security. Firewalls for the Country.
Don't you hate when you have a super valid reason to do something instead of an excuse?
Nice work today, pajama jeans. Nice work indeed.
Star this tweet if you want to live. RT it if you trust me.
There's always somewhere to hide. The mute function is as good as any place to start.
I could tell if my mom was in a good mood by how many cigarette butts were in the toilet
My signature move is turning one night stands into really shitty relationships.
Wonder why people get surprised when I pull out ear plugs from my pocket when they attempt small talk.
Well I guess I'm having my leftovers with a side dish of "go fuck myself."
Sarcasm is just intelligence with extra gravy.
Happy Black Friday, everyone! Enjoy that toaster oven that only cost you $10 and your human dignity.
I am the absolute worst version of myself when I've been proven right about something.
I can’t remember if I only smoke when I’m drinking or if I only drink when I’m smoking.