Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
TT: I'm a liar. Or am I? Hmmm.
As best I can tell, his entire job is to second guess my actual job. And he's not even that good at it.
I'm couching so hard that Netflix is like DAMN BOY, don't get up, let's watch an entire season of something right now
I dream of a day when we no longer judge people by the color of the skin, but rather by some other genetic detail
Pretty sure what my grandpa just did in the restroom could be classified as a form of domestic violence. :(
I'm couching harder than you're couching
Non spoiler world series live tweet: he takes his signal looks to first. Back to home plate and... there it goes... Swing and a miss.
Sports is probably the easiest way to get me to hate a complete stranger.
Ben Bradlee was good, but Wikipedia is better.
AMERICAN HORROR STORY: My Life Decisions
Girl 1: I totes love ur boots.
Girl 2: Aww thanx. Ur jacket is adorbz.
Girl 1: Awwww. Feels.
Cat: So ur gonna fuck or whut?
If you think I RT men only because I want to fuck them, you'd be wrong. I want to fuck the women I RT too.
Matthew mcconaughey tries to parallel park his Lincoln..lacking the necessary skills he takes off his shirt and his pecs do it for him
Admit it, Men: You only get haircuts at 'Salons' because you're hoping for sideboob. Don't be ashamed- I'm totally with you.
*interrupts your blind date
Are you gonna eat that?
I don't usually mind when people unfollow me, but now I hear they're forming a credit union.
I see your thigh gap, and I raise you the fact that I manage to get laid without having one.
(No one is more surprised than I am.)
Someone with 52 followers just unfollowed me & I don't know whether I should laugh or cry.
Most don't want to face the truth. It shatters their illusions.
I can’t remember if I only smoke when I’m drinking or if I only drink when I’m smoking.