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Talkin to me kiwi on dm ...she's finally trying to quit smoking..thanks to moi.
we are gathered
on here today...
Does anyone really look smart driving a smart car? Would they look smarter if they were wearing crocs?
I just replaced the toilet seat and if anybody else in this house thinks they get to try it out first they are out of their fucking minds.
You ever have one of those days where you feel a step & 1/2 out of place? Today is one of those days.
It's sad people standing in line to postmark their tax returns are talking to each other because the battery in their flip phones died.
Show me love, you got your hand on the button now.
Don't put a spoiler on a cube. You're ass isn't hugging the ground, it's swinging like a pendulum.
I am the girl you'd leave your Brink Heist with when you go to jail.
You better believe I've sped to get awful fast food before it closes every single time because I hate myself.
Man is not like other animals in the ways that are really significant: animals have instincts, we have taxes. - Erving Goffman
It's bad when you can have sex and you don't want it.
My mom doesn't like cookies. So yeah, I think I had a traumatic childhood.
Ice T is my favorite philosopher.
Thanks as always, listeners, supporters and friends. Stay brutal. \m/
Send me your cock pic and I'll Photoshop it so it looks as big as you tell everybody it is.
Unless you're fresh...don't even bother.
I have a bone to pick with you...graveyard workers.
"I'm Goin' Down" by Bruce Springsteen is my favorite song about a dirty old man from Jersey going on about how much he likes to eat bush.
To people who feel as if you're part of some kind of debt: You are not a loan.
I can’t remember if I only smoke when I’m drinking or if I only drink when I’m smoking.