Face tattoo's scream success,or unemployed. There is NO middle ground,what so ever.

I adore seeing a couple in love, as I stand outside their window peeping feverishly hoping they invite me in for a glass of milk & sex.

Twitter rule: If an twitter account has a name with "Funny,Comedy" in it 9.9/10 it's false advertisement.

For Halloween,im dressing up as child support.. That'll scare niggas to death!

If I Retweet you,it's either you're one sick fuck.. Or I misunderstood your tweet all together,either way,I'm a disturbed individual.

Welcome to the cult,I trust you found the bible under the bench quite resourceful. 👱

I'd like to thank all the tweeters for shoving your religion down my throat,for fuck sake I'm not Linda Lovelace..

I'm very much illiterate when it comes to reading minds,asshole. But,I will knuckle bump your face till its a short story,in Braille.

Theres nothing like an mouthful of gold teeth to complete the whole "I'm in between jobs" look.

I'm one science experiment away from duplicating Lisa from "Weird Science". *self Hi5 with bra strapped to my head*

#MyWorstFear Internet porn not being free anymore. The night terrors I've had over the thought alone, could make Fredrick Kruger shudder.

Some people dislike my tweets & RT's.To those people I say Get Well soon,I hope you recover from your self sense of entitlement,assholes. :]

Never cry wolf.. Because being an Emo Wolf is sooo passee. Wolf Gang!

My sock puppet wreaks of semen & sympathy,yet I don't wash it to warn other sock puppets what could happen to them on any given moment. 🍄

I ❤ Role Playing!😻




(btw,I dont know why State law has mistaken role playing for: Kidnapping,Sexual assualt & force entry.)

I love working the late shift,its the shit... Literally,the shit in the bathroom stalls are marvelously watery.

She said she wants me to show her the world.


*inserts google map punchline here*

🌏

Has anybody thought: "The only thing preventing me from killing this person,is the law."Then proceeded to watch CSI for further details?TMI?

Who else watches Duck Dynasty & thinks Beverly Hillbillies? Not me,I watch for tips & insight.

She treats me like a piece of meat. You know,that piece of meat even the dogs turn their noses up to? Yea,my sex life.