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I used to wonder if an alien visitation would trigger a panic. Now I realize it’d just generate endless memes and Simpson quotes.
Curiosity is the only real reason why I get out of bed in the morning.
Finally, good news today. I’m going to celebrate with Crisco, bubble wrap, and a trampoline.
I have Stuff to do today. I'm going to buy some balloons and set them free.
I have new speakers. The bass, it is awesome.
Yes, neighbors. You will learn to appreciate the Clash. You’re welcome.
Joy is the air on my cheeks mid-pirouette or the splash of water on my face while doing the butterfly stroke.
Found it! I took off my bra and the missing Lego brick tinked across the floor.
I keep forgetting that I use a plugin to change “god” to “Elvis”. This makes for confused and hilarious comment and erotica reading.
It’s not my fault that “quesadilla” sounds like “case of beer”, but maybe you should order your own lunch.
I maybe, might’ve seen fireworks go off in a car as I was going by. Either that, or hat was one intense migraine aura. Or alien space bats.
I don’t really care for candy, but I like strangers.
Bubble baths don’t feel very sexy. They’re more about fairy tale castles and foamy monsters you blow to smithereens.
Radiatrix. Sexual, bisexual, unmethodical, ungendered, engendered. Sui generis tribade. You are my cathexis.