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Huge outrage on timeline cos Louis couldn't decide between Kenny Everett and Shania Twain. U know there are drone attacks on Pakistan yeah?
Why is Ed Sheeran only loving her til she's 70? What a shit love song "I will abandon you in old age just when you desperately need me" Cunt
New euphemisms for periods-
Funding the refuge.
Bringing out the red briefcase
Lining Osborne's pocket
Pay as you flow
After the Brixton Bowie singalong, anyone want to gather in Acton for a night of withering looks and triumphantly sarcastic speeches?? 💔
My son just did a poo which sounded like the end of Eastenders
If it helps any, my toddler is half Muslim and said sorry this morning. It was for throwing Lego, but still an apology if you want it?
Domestic violence goes up at least 20% during World Cup, more so at final. The Woamn's Aid helpline is 0808 2000 247.
Dunno why Tim Farron is taking a pop at Corbyn's reshuffle. He hasn't got enough MPs to change ends in an orgy.
Hes my screensaver https://twitter.com/NHSMillion/status/749526129195814912 …
Comediatrix, observationist & writer. Funny for money,moody and righteous for free. I think my jelly's on the turn TBH
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