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Huge outrage on timeline cos Louis couldn't decide between Kenny Everett and Shania Twain. U know there are drone attacks on Pakistan yeah?
Hope you've all remembered to fill your children's socks with batter for Pancake Eve!
Going upstairs. There may or may not be sex. I may or may not tweet through it
I Miss the age where birthdays made me feel like I was maturing, rather than decomposing
My tits were far more "disgusting" when they were permanently tucked away in bras cos one of my boyfriends vomited when he saw them. ha
Tip. When taking kids swimming on Feb 15 try not 2 forget that u wrote "Happy Valentine's Day" on your arse in red lipstick the night before
Having an amazing gig at a PTA In Surrey. Parents are dirty, nasty freaks :-D
I am a stand up, TV presenter, comedy writer and journalist. Depression sufferer, but I try not to get depressed about it.