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Brunch? No, I went to public school.
People keep mistaking my "wow"s for compliments.
With my luck, I'll die and get reincarnated as myself.
Saw a kid in a stroller with an iced coffee. I gave him my resume.
I just hope I'm hating the right things.
I know I'm going to embarrass myself in most situations but the specifics still surprise me.
If being annoyed burned calories I'd be Keira Knightley skinny or possibly dead.
All I'm saying is A Flock of Seagulls worked aurora borealis into a song and we should really respect that.
I've discovered I own five umbrellas, if anyone wants to stage a musical number.
Chill out with the jars, ancient peoples.
I just want to meet someone like Kurt Russell's hair.
Finally came to terms with Harrison Ford's earring. There are other battles.
These days my "dancing" looks an awful lot like "sipping a drink in the corner and judging people".
My self-loathing hit critical mass when I tried on orange jeans.
I feel like a hug from John Goodman would cure basically everything.
I don't think this wine is erasing the right memories.
If you know a phrase more hideous than "big girl panties" please keep it to yourself.
Ten toes seems a little excessive.
I saw Encino Man in the theaters, so.
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