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Suspect #2 has lost a lot of blood. More than likely his life will be saved by somebody's blood donated in response to the bombing. #irony
So....I joined Weight Watchers. Middle age metabolism can eat a dick. Which is 2 points, by the way.
4:"How do babies get in your tummy?"
Me:"That's a great question for Dad."
Hubs:"We order them on the internet."
I don't know what the fuck this is but it's getting a handicapped parking ticket. pic.twitter.com/BUyx3TIw
As a mother my heart hurts for the victims & their families. As a cop it hurts for the responders. As a human it just hurts.
How is it that the dogs understand "Go for a walk?" but are completely stymied by "Don't shit on our floor!"
Girl Scouts presentation. Showed them my cuffs. Scout:"My mom has cuffs but they don't work like yours!" Mom:"Halloween! Halloween!"
. @seattlepd: winning Twitter amidst a riot. Mad respect to them and STAY SAFE.
Blasting Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer on the radio while running hot to a call. Like a badass.
This was our local ambulance service's Christmas card picture last year. Still one of my favs. pic.twitter.com/UW0fRuQB
Am I an asshole for turning on the sprinkler while the dogs were sniffing it? Probably. But I'm a laughing asshole.
Cheapest thing at Disney World? Tampons & pads for 50 cents in the women's restroom. Draw some Mickey Mouse ears on them & call it good.
Which is great when telemarketers call and ask for our dog. "He's here but he's taking a shit in the yard right now."
Hubs was picking up dog poop & found some with a craft googly eye in it. My dogs have given birth to Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo.
Listen, bitch. Push me off this trail again and I will cut you. http://twitpic.com/5eajbk
Piece of shit Steve Alford is on Twitter now. Let the shit show begin. @uclacoachalford
Mom of 2, wife, Sergeant, 3rd shifter, retired roller girl, resident smartass, comma abuser, exhausted. My puns are always intended.
