When asked the breed of my cat, I like to make up scary sounding stuff. Like "Madagascar Throat Slasher". Or "Australian Widowmaker".

@jesmar99 You've gone two weeks before acting crazy again. Is that a record for you?

It always freaks me out when I encounter wildlife that have absolutely no fear of humans whatsoever.

Sad news. I heard today that our local deli guy was killed while trying to unhook a hanging VW Jetta from the ceiling for a customer....

@kingamir I've been there. Pleasant town...nice people. pic.twitter.com/oAU1eFX4

@skitzoette "DANGER, BLAST ZONE" would have likely been more appropriate.

@frankdangelo23 What's the name of your book again, Frank D'Angelo? Is it "How I got away with rape?"

@erinmurray99 I like "I rode the 3-hole wonder and survived" better. More catchy. ;-) #JodiArias

@jodiannarias You know who's a victim of domestic violence? Travis Alexander. But he's no longer with us. He died violently. #JodiArias

#JodiArias reminds me so much of my ex. A professional victim. Lives to be the victim. Feel sorry for her, 'cause she needs it. Pathetic.

@losensation We all collectively wonder how bad our productivity would have been had Twitter been around sooner.

Fun fact: In addition to his threats, insults and attempts to intimidate me, Frank D'Angelo has spent over $10k to try to shut me up.

@jessoncrack Not sure how I'd react on a first date with someone who has a distinct urine smell about them.

Cheetah Power Surge #LesserAnything

The Being Frank Show #LesserAnything

@eureekahavoc I've never met a girl who didn't love Señor Yae Yo.

I've certainly encountered many disturbed people on the internet...people who aren't above playing fucked-up games with people.

Some guy just spoke to my Twitter crush. I'll show him! I'm gonna quit my job, move into a homeless shelter, and blog about that guy. BAH!

@qwertying Something nobody wants to know....

@qwertying When you become that important, you have people to do that for you.