@dudehugs pic.twitter.com/EdLi3KhG

Everyone I've ever meet is being compared to you and you're winning

"Spiderpiss dildo soup" is something i literally typed into a search bar because twitter is weird as hell

@regisl IS IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE IT IS A VOICE THAT COMES FROM EVERYWHERE EVEN YOUR OWN MIND.

Game of Thrones just does not hold back with the titties

Those are some nice crunch berries you got there. Be a shame if anything were to cap'n to it

you can make fun of me for sleeping with a teddy bear, but i’ll be laughing when the monster in your closet bites off your toes

If you love someone, be with them. That's it.

If you ever live with me, this is the only rule. http://t.co/exWaKPHC

Not that I'm offering. You don't want to come to mansfield to watch it with a bunch of cats anyway

I think i just saw Kunle in a UTA commercial

@ahfflpffinvrlnd thanks, you were so wonderful, i love romance! All of you guys! @philippusb @chelsholl @jnomiddlenamee

I'm my own valentine this year, it's pretty great. I might even get to second base tonight

Lolololol, my life.  http://m.theshorthorn.com/life_and_entertainment/people_and_interests/roommate-woes-that-s-how-living-goes/article_65b6edbc-5f8c-11e2-8f41-0019bb30f31a.html …

I'm in my old high school and can't stop laughing at these pic.twitter.com/AviI2b0e

@spiderpiss what is the dildo soup tweet?

Seriously. Get it right, dammit http://t.co/YvhVEuhk

Just said sorry to my phone. I treat this device better than most people.

@thelannom arrested development!!! The new season is out in 3 days

I want to go camping again, who's game?