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  • MichelleAguil
      Michelle @MichelleAguil

    That proud moment when you type in "fa" in your browser and Favstar come up instead of Facebook.

    • 352
    • FAVS
    CelebrityChezMakeYourBedlamabbeyaarTheMichaelRockletsgetgizzyRememberNguyenserialmatrixilovepie84
    • 27
    • RETWEETS
    TheMichaelRockflickoholicgoodballsiBrowniEd2AllThingsCLEVEnemoflakesLtFrankDrebbinjumpdashark
    matttuff
  • MichelleAguil
      Michelle @MichelleAguil

    Hey girls taking pictures in the bathroom at the mall, I'm peeing in the stall behind you. Don't forget to tag me.

    • 243
    • FAVS
    SissiSayMakeYourBedlamTheMichaelRockdizzyidjitPulse_NYCMissWontNinjaTonia________TequilaTassia
    • 36
    • RETWEETS
    goldenshakehandJesTurtle_________SixFourThree_baldkittieserialmatrixPetre_BogdanflickoholicHawgLegHendrix
    MmeLaCroozsf14
  • MichelleAguil
      Michelle @MichelleAguil

    Ways to get off a couch #34: Rolling off onto the floor while making Chewbacca noises.

    • 242
    • FAVS
    izombieiMakeYourBedlamTheMichaelRockRememberNguyenserialmatrixBubba_BearJLuedersphoenix2oo9
    • 28
    • RETWEETS
    izombieiPetre_BogdanTGent33kindaouttaluckkgoodballsiBrowniEd2myrontanNeonWhisky
    Molly_Kats
  • MichelleAguil
      Michelle @MichelleAguil

    When homeless people look like they are about to ask you for money, ask THEM first they'll explode from the shock.

    • 222
    • FAVS
    TheMichaelRockRememberNguyenTryingtojumppUrMothaNoRubber__serialmatrixjuzlokin2________PizzaJizz________iBrowniEd2
    • 24
    • RETWEETS
    flickoholiciBrowniEd2MarkAMacalusoAllThingsCLEVEMessikaLee________jumpdasharkHipyetiRilo_Nicholas__
    fromCarter________
  • MichelleAguil
      Michelle @MichelleAguil

    I yawned and my dog sneezed in my mouth. I honestly don't know what to do.

    • 212
    • FAVS
    TheMichaelRockRememberNguyenNumbForceTraumaMarkAMacalusoJihadPizzaAllThingsCLEVEthatUPSdudeVoiceOfReason25
    • 14
    • RETWEETS
    iRandomNoboodyxVixxyxRummyLaudedHipyetiJesTurtle________BetterOffJenCrackedIllusionfavstar1000favs
  • MichelleAguil
      Michelle @MichelleAguil

    Can you people please have more 49 & 99 starred tweets? I'm trying to be a fucking hero over here.

    • 163
    • FAVS
    TheMichaelRockRememberNguyenUrMothaNoRubber__JimboleemJihadPizzaAllThingsCLEVEthatUPSdudeburgerkrang
    • 13
    • RETWEETS
    Uphorik_407AwhDiddyTweetsfavstar1000favsmarimaricomcastthatcrazyvoiceFavstar500Favsl1zerdMikeSchism
  • MichelleAguil
      Michelle @MichelleAguil

    We all have that one slutty friend. And if you don't have one, it's probably you.

    • 150
    • FAVS
    izombieiTheMichaelRockRememberNguyenUrMothaNoRubber__serialmatrixBubba_BearMarkAMacalusoJihadPizza
    • 21
    • RETWEETS
    flickoholicDan_the_Butchersweetpea551277_xLNcomg_Its_DallasIAMJ_J________favstar1000favs132_bpm
    132_bpmGSouder
  • MichelleAguil
      Michelle @MichelleAguil

    When i'm not tweeting...I'm still here...lurking in the shadows...starfucking your tweets.. sorta like a rapist.

    • 152
    • FAVS
    TheMichaelRockRememberNguyenJihadPizzaAllThingsCLEVEnemoflakesjumpdasharkburgerkrangmontaukmonster1
    • 13
    • RETWEETS
    ImHopel3sshoopahoepHomosecksfavstar1000favsiTomFooleryiNusku____________Favstar500Favsgoonumbertwo______
  • MichelleAguil
      Michelle @MichelleAguil

    "I would eat you first in an apocalypse" is a good pick up line right?

    • 119
    • FAVS
    TheMichaelRockRememberNguyenUrMothaNoRubber__serialmatrixMarkAMacalusoJihadPizzaAllThingsCLEVEnemoflakes
    • 21
    • RETWEETS
    flickoholicnoirc1iiSaRAWRHayaAlManamymelanieworldkidjoaqeenranithefirstcaptaineggroll
    GentlyTempered
  • MichelleAguil
      Michelle @MichelleAguil

    I'm most attractive when I'm playing Mario Bros and yell "muthafucking turtle!...fuck you shitbag!.. that's right bitches get owned!!"

    • 129
    • FAVS
    TheMichaelRockmrschaoticCMFC99UrMothaNoRubber__serialmatrixMatchingTattoos__PizzaJizz________iBrowniEd2
    • 11
    • RETWEETS
    JesTurtle________flickoholiciBrowniEd2montaukmonster1favstar1000favsDan_the_ButcherAwhDiddyTweetsRamblingScott
    montaukmonster1
  • MichelleAguil
      Michelle @MichelleAguil

    I have a hard time distinguishing blond people from golden retrievers when they're in a car.

    • 111
    • FAVS
    TheMichaelRockUrMothaNoRubber__JihadPizzaAllThingsCLEVEnemoflakesburgerkrangAh_kee_oh________ScottJFox
    • 8
    • RETWEETS
    CrayWuffScottJFoxfavstar1000favsnoeltimesone______thenamesmikeGSpiderogerFavstar500Favsiheartsoups__
  • MichelleAguil
      Michelle @MichelleAguil

    Watching cops..I'm pretty sure these criminals would have a much higher chance of outrunning the cops if they pull up their pants.

    • 96
    • FAVS
    TheMichaelRockUrMothaNoRubber__MarkAMacalusoJihadPizzaAllThingsCLEVEnemoflakesburgerkrangmontaukmonster1
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    KevinDeanGanderSpiderogerFavstar500Favsthatcrazyvoicethe_moonface
  • MichelleAguil
      Michelle @MichelleAguil

    Just met someone who said they don't like bacon. I poked his shoulder to make sure he was real before I hated him.

    • 85
    • FAVS
    TheMichaelRockJihadPizzaAllThingsCLEVEScarletConfettiburgerkrangHipyetizenchampionAh_kee_oh________
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    JesTurtle________Favstar500FavsNoirPoetograpyBaconSword________skybri69__________
  • MichelleAguil
      Michelle @MichelleAguil

    I type out so many tweets, I laugh to myself and then delete them because none of you would get my inside jokes with myself.

    • 86
    • FAVS
    TheMichaelRockserialmatrixMarkAMacalusoScarlettKush______JihadPizzaAllThingsCLEVEdonniburgerkrang
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    JesTurtle________AwhDiddyTweetsFavstar500Favs
    CrazedinNYC______
  • MichelleAguil
      Michelle @MichelleAguil

    Can't find the remote to unmute my tv, so I'm just pretending they're all discussing how awesome I am.

    • 77
    • FAVS
    TheMichaelRockMarkAMacalusoAllThingsCLEVEScarletConfettiburgerkrangChromeGravityImHopel3ssthetobbie
    • 8
    • RETWEETS
    flickoholicalrightbobFavstar500Favskingbuck92NikeTys0nMatixEmiTotesNSFW________DonovanStrain
  • MichelleAguil
      Michelle @MichelleAguil

    Learned whore and bullshit in sign language today. And that's all I will ever need to learn.

    • 77
    • FAVS
    TheMichaelRockUrMothaNoRubber__JihadPizzaAllThingsCLEVEburgerkrangChromeGravityImHopel3ssthetobbie
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    SpiderogerFavstar500Favs
  • MichelleAguil
      Michelle @MichelleAguil

    Welcome to Florida. Home of people that own fake deers and put them on their yard.

    • 77
    • FAVS
    TheMichaelRockRememberNguyenUrMothaNoRubber__AllThingsCLEVEburgerkrangChromeGravityImHopel3ssnoeltimesone______
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Favstar500Favs
  • MichelleAguil
      Michelle @MichelleAguil

    I say "bless you" to my dog all the time when he sneezes & that fucker never says it when I do it.I bless myself extra loud so he feels bad.

    • 71
    • FAVS
    TheMichaelRockRememberNguyenMarkAMacalusoAllThingsCLEVEburgerkrangChromeGravityImHopel3ssthetobbie
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar500FavsGeekingOff________Doryvalve
  • MichelleAguil
      Michelle @MichelleAguil

    I think there's a desperate need for an invention that women can use to write their name with pee in the snow.

    • 65
    • FAVS
    TheMichaelRockAllThingsCLEVEburgerkrangChromeGravityImHopel3ssnoeltimesone______KillerdolceMentalstruation
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    hoopahoepFavstar500FavsGASmithIVSpiderogertpurvis06
  • MichelleAguil
      Michelle @MichelleAguil

    The best thing about being a female is that we have natural food catchers.

    • 67
    • FAVS
    TheMichaelRockAllThingsCLEVEburgerkrangDearNooneChromeGravityImHopel3ssnoeltimesone______desmondalan
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar500FavsMatttcampbell12
@MichelleAguil

@MichelleAguil

Eh.