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If you're not shotgunning Frank's Red Hot right now, you're SO doing this blizzard the wrong way!
Clint Eastwood had quite a Senior Moment last night. Señor Moment, also the name of the lamest comic book villain ever.
I want a Blue Velvet cake that's just filled with bugs and Pabst Blue Ribbon.
If I had a nickel for every time I had a nickel I'd be caught in a paradox.
"Just tell me how many licks--no! NOO!" -Me, moments before murdering an owl
In the event of an emergency, Governor Christie may be used as a floatation device.
Hey, I just met you... and this is crazy... I'm genderbending... so call me Katie. #CallMeMaybe
Good idea: Taking grandma to Chi-Chi's for her birthday. Bad idea: Arson.
Flirty Sanchez: The story of a poor migrant worker searching for love in all the wrong places.
"Get off my mane!" -Harrison Ford's Horse
Managing Editor for @DAPSwebsite, Writer, Web Producer, Band Manager, Musical Hobbyist, Whovian. Currently writing a book with words in it.