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  • MikeLaFontaine1
      The Dude @MikeLaFontaine1

    Gift @MikeLaFontaine1 Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 323
    • LIKES
    steve_condraYesImMattchicnlil1iGreenMonkcigarinLuvPugCpin42MichaelGrey420____
    • 181
    • RETWEETS
    YesImMattchicnlil1cigarinJagerMouthloopyloup________whatitsmenejThisIsUECPapasMugOfCocoa
    WhosTheresa
  • MikeLaFontaine1
      The Dude @MikeLaFontaine1

    Don't judge people just because you are better than them.

    • 214
    • LIKES
    lil_greenmonstriharshithsee_vaibhavOberoiVarun13chellesmellszaphryx27thebelleofbamacranky2pants
    • 144
    • RETWEETS
    see_vaibhavOberoiVarun13thebelleofbamaNaughtySec4ScoreN20BowlsiGreenMonksteve_condraWhosTheresa
  • MikeLaFontaine1
      The Dude @MikeLaFontaine1

    Seems like dogs are playing a lot less poker than they did in the 70's.

    • 145
    • LIKES
    Bob_JankeNutella_VodkaMoosewackerthebelleofbamaactuallyadoePMendoza602TehNemsteriGreenMonk
    • 85
    • RETWEETS
    MoosewackerthebelleofbamaPMendoza602DrMonicaQuezadaShoutin_Bibblessteve_condratrumpthechumpwhatitsmenej
  • MikeLaFontaine1
      The Dude @MikeLaFontaine1

    I really don't care if you have a nice day. Just don't go on a killing spree and we're cool.

    • 155
    • LIKES
    steve_condraThe_Dorkster______WhosTheresawhatitsmenejnotorious_starsBrutalParagonjademoooNurseRatchet719
    • 75
    • RETWEETS
    papigogetemNurseRatchet719kapete22__________ThadInproAllyTheJediKapanduHshnnnzlsmthSaraESpivey
    JackieluvsUK
  • MikeLaFontaine1
      The Dude @MikeLaFontaine1

    Did everything right. Ate food off her plate. Corrected her grammar. Told her my pet name for my penis is Richard Petty. I think she's gay.

    • 136
    • LIKES
    steve_condraWhosTheresawhatitsmenejRealPrincessKimOld_Soul_BluesLeroyTee__________sweetandweak______red_panama
    • 54
    • RETWEETS
    ignacio_mirred_panamatheLK88s_cLaN07NurseRatchet719Naomi02_04PapasMugOfCocoaSaraESpivey
    BigHeb7
  • MikeLaFontaine1
      The Dude @MikeLaFontaine1

    Whatever, people who always know what day of the week it is.

    • 116
    • LIKES
    WhosTheresawhatitsmenejFRANKSTALICIOUSNurseRatchet719MsGreenGoddessAaronMichael_theDanLawlercdnbroad__________
    • 61
    • RETWEETS
    cdnbroad__________SaraESpiveyF4TlM4____________mrt1mWentGhostItsMeEmyfavstar1000favsJooryZoghby______
  • MikeLaFontaine1
      The Dude @MikeLaFontaine1

    That I follow 494 and have 119 followers doesn't automatically mean my favorite show is The Biggest Loser. That's like a coincidence man.

    • 109
    • LIKES
    WhosTheresawhatitsmenejMsGreenGoddessmaebemarblesAaronMichael_theDanLawlerSaraESpiveyNoLuckWanted
    • 32
    • RETWEETS
    57thStateTweetrTrevor_NeitzelSaraESpiveyfavstar1000favsNikkiAgainBrianhopecomedyFGsPlayThingMaxine12333
    eliserose5__
  • MikeLaFontaine1
      The Dude @MikeLaFontaine1

    I get 'elevators' and 'escalators' mixed up. I think escalators have the steps and elevators are the ones you fart in when they're full.

    • 81
    • LIKES
    WhosTheresagreatfox44MsGreenGoddessAaronMichael_theDanLawlerSaraESpiveyNoLuckWantedmrt1m
    • 55
    • RETWEETS
    SaraESpiveyMasilaJnrShutterMAI_Landcrusonjqnxpa1____SparklyStonesmisumixnbl6______irenegithuaEl_native
  • MikeLaFontaine1
      The Dude @MikeLaFontaine1

    I want a woman that isn't superficial. With dark hair and a nice rack.

    • 92
    • LIKES
    WhosTheresanhhabibSuzziesGashwhatitsmenejDanKCharnley__sHaRD__RedheadedTramp____FRANKSTALICIOUS
    • 39
    • RETWEETS
    whatitsmenejkaty_baybayNickJBurrowsred_panamapapigogetemOverdue_BillstheLK88NurseRatchet719
  • MikeLaFontaine1
      The Dude @MikeLaFontaine1

    But I don't WANNA be a Walmart greeter forever. - guys named Gordon

    • 102
    • LIKES
    WhosTheresaNurseRatchet719AaronMichael_theDanLawlersexlessinthectySaraESpiveyNoLuckWantedmrt1m
    • 27
    • RETWEETS
    Tweetloose________Klitty_Katfavstar1000favsSaraESpiveyillz35BrianhopecomedyFGsPlayThingohwrigley________
  • MikeLaFontaine1
      The Dude @MikeLaFontaine1

    If you think my last tweet was bad, wait till my next one. It's really going to suck.

    • 84
    • LIKES
    WhosTheresaJordyPants_kiralcwhatitsmenejNurseRatchet719MsGreenGoddessAaronMichael_Creamerfan1
    • 27
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    whatitsmenejMsGreenGoddessSaraESpiveyFGsPlayThingohwrigley________SumReecesPieces__Favstar500Favs__evol_monkey__
  • MikeLaFontaine1
      The Dude @MikeLaFontaine1

    Everyone needs that special someone to make them feel whole. And a set of those yellow corn holders.

    • 77
    • LIKES
    WhosTheresaJordyPants_emsykaywhatitsmenejjpeace3rdMsGreenGoddessAaronMichael_pritamJAYKAR
    • 24
    • RETWEETS
    Pucker21whatitsmenejjpeace3rdSaraESpiveyFGsPlayThingbellazinsDnuttSparklecokThe_Sculptress
  • MikeLaFontaine1
      The Dude @MikeLaFontaine1

    So many of the women on twitter are out of my league. They're in the "I'll pay you $25 just to slap me on the face in a public bar" league.

    • 69
    • LIKES
    whatitsmenejAaronMichael_SaraESpiveyNoLuckWantedmrt1mfluffysusekamweru_WndrWomanesque
    • 26
    • RETWEETS
    SaraESpiveyBrianhopecomedyohwrigley________Favstar500Favs__Loli_SugkamtweetingSumReecesPieces__PurpleSexBobomb
  • MikeLaFontaine1
      The Dude @MikeLaFontaine1

    You know your Mom had too much to drink at the game when she executes a citizens arrests on the Zamboni driver for not using proper signals.

    • 70
    • LIKES
    whatitsmenejSaraESpiveyNoLuckWantedmrt1mfluffysusekamweru_WndrWomanesqueihuffpaint
    • 17
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    ihuffpaintFGsPlayThingMaxine12333ohwrigley________Favstar500Favs__MizBlueBallsrobocreepThe_Sculptress
  • MikeLaFontaine1
      The Dude @MikeLaFontaine1

    A woman should carry a purse big enough to carry enough stuff to assure that she can never find a specific thing at any given time.

    • 52
    • LIKES
    WhosTheresaMichaelRielly10DanKCharnleynadineofheartsDanieChaseJ_ELLIS99Overdue_BillsNurseRatchet719
    • 32
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    TylerV_RWWWFavstar_NSFWSirDineshkumarnadineofheartsmike_moreauRosalba86J_ELLIS99BlackLizzyJ
  • MikeLaFontaine1
      The Dude @MikeLaFontaine1

    WTF does "I don't take no flack" even mean? What is flack? And if no one takes it, where are we supposed to bring it if we do find some?

    • 57
    • LIKES
    embidemSaraESpiveymrt1mfluffysusekamweru_WndrWomanesqueBrianhopecomedyFGsPlayThing
    • 22
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    FGsPlayThingFavstar500Favs__RodneyYouHookerjesseblaine_10____The_SculptressmishakeyWet_WaffleKlitty_Kat
  • MikeLaFontaine1
      The Dude @MikeLaFontaine1

    Damn! Did I miss out on that whole "dress up like Spiderman for a free bacon burger" thingy?

    • 58
    • LIKES
    GreenEyedJediAaronMichael_SaraESpiveyNoLuckWantedmrt1mfluffysusetrumpthechumpFGsPlayThing
    • 17
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    SaraESpiveyFGsPlayThingFavstar500Favs__ohwrigley________PerezTedCSandersWriterkamtweetingSumReecesPieces__
  • MikeLaFontaine1
      The Dude @MikeLaFontaine1

    Twitter isn't a contest. No one is keeping score. (I'm winning 643 to 497)

    • 55
    • LIKES
    NurseRatchet719GreenEyedJediPipRatre_petedsexlessinthectygutterpennyNerd_Boner________claire_mudie
    • 10
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    Favstar500Favs__KeeleOfficiallyclaire_mudieSaraESpiveyFGsPlayThingLoli_SugjoellelynnAnnaCordelia
  • MikeLaFontaine1
      The Dude @MikeLaFontaine1

    In jail, you should always find the biggest, toughest guy and beat him to a pulp. This also works when jostling for a number at the DMV.

    • 46
    • LIKES
    jpeace3rdGreenEyedJedire_petedAaronMichael_SaraESpiveyNoLuckWantedmrt1mfluffysuse
    • 9
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    re_petedesnesySaraESpiveyFGsPlayThingGorrdanoDirtyPawz_Lisa_Laughs_FierceMess
  • MikeLaFontaine1
      The Dude @MikeLaFontaine1

    My favorite movie about Canadians is Fargo.

    • 41
    • LIKES
    trumpthechumpWhosTheresaDanKCharnleysanbay__NurseRatchet719Tweetloose________jpeace3rdGreenEyedJedi
    • 11
    • RETWEETS
    KrWtt____________NurseRatchet719KennedyTestSaraESpiveyimence2DivineLately______valentinebobby__MTRod93__________
@MikeLaFontaine1

@MikeLaFontaine1

Strange Chinese fortune cookie: Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's Rae N. Ng. http://t.co/g8eBdy95

Gift 128x128 eed6a6fa05c032b3463123779fd30e334924cb30b476ccedc6e6f7bdfdc37b10

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