@ahuj9 are you retarded

@mileycyrus you look cracked the fuck out.

some of my twitter follow suggestions give me a good laugh

"I got reasons why I tease em boys just come and go like seasons" - Psalms 4:16

@c4l4n marriage is a state's right to decide but if a case is brought to the supreme court they can make a permanent declaration for gay m.

@alishazeni said this today........ "@judgmental_gay: "i'm so fat! i need to lose 5 lbs." #ShitSkinnyPeopleAlwaysSay #ShitFatPeopleNeverSay"

@sarah_gilmore. "@filthyrichmond: Putting a photo of Suze Orman in my wallet so I can tell her to suck it as I max out my credit cards."

Apologizing to everyone who had to see me the way I was last night...sorry hoes

"When I go to college i wanna try this new thing of being a clean person" -@sarah_gilmore

Sorry definitely not sorry. "@alishazeni: “@itzdaisu: #THINGSNOTTODODURINGAFUNERAL git semin stains on teh caskit” @mikeleonardis"

Time to sit and watch a movie and let my body recuperate with a nutritional ramen

@sarah_gilmore takes out the leg of a chair. Tru.

@miicbabyy saves the day :D

On tuesdays we smoke crack

Got accused of stealing a wheelchair from the nurse's office. #Ok

I've really missed the familiar sounds of sirens that let me know I'm in newark

Peeing by candlelight. #SoThug

"The only thing in my purse is rolling papers."

I'm just trying to save the planet - one load of laundry with a single t shirt in it at a time.

My 45 year old uncle who lives alone: "I just LOL'd!!" Lord have mercy; please stop talking 4ever.