Comic-Con apparently spent the last two weeks making a better error message page. #SDCC

Black Friday for dudes is called "Christmas Eve."

#DumbestLawEver Gravity.

Pretty sure the president is still Josiah Bartlet, right? #FactsWithoutWikipedia #WestWing @pres_bartlet

Final Procrastination #lessscaryremakes

The president pardons a turkey, yet still refuses to pardon a crack commando team sent to prison for a crime they didn't commit. #ateam

Jodie Foster’s kids: Is one a time traveler of the other one? #GoldenGlobes

Quick guys, time for us to start brainstorming excuses for our bosses tomorrow about why we’re so sleepy. #Boston #Watertown

Working on starting a cult of personality. Looking for a better personality to start it around.

Just had a 3.2 earthquake. Whoopdie-dooooo! If you didn’t notice it, you’re officially a Californian. #earthquake

On 4/20, as someone who’s never done drugs, I finally understand how Jews feel on Christmas.

"I-- but-- you-- can we-- please-- sirs--I'm--" - Jim Lehrer #debate2012

I wonder how much cognitive dissonance hipsters have when something they like starts trending.

Jennifer Lawrence's awful rapping was funny but not as funny as Natalie Portman's AWESOME rapping.  http://youtu.be/v8e6-IeQ0aw  #snl

Yay, MTV and BET are pretend hacked! It goes back to an old-fashioned marketing strategy: Lying. #MTVhack

"I maybe need to get a new accountant." MITT, ixnay on reminding everyone you like firing people. #debate2012

Hope Neil Armstrong comes back from Death with some Death Rocks to show us it's not as scary as we think.

Man, Radiohead's great. They're such interesting conceptual artists. It would be super fun if they decided to make music!

I wish that Watchmen was a gritty documentary about a couple young jewelers with tiny screwdrivers and a dream.

@americanidol I #idoldisagree because I think Zoanette needs a therapist, not a record deal.