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So, $250,000 per year isn't "rich", huh. Interesting. Social experiment: RT this tweet if you made less than that this year. I'm curious..
It's great no cameras were allowed to capture how the fire started & how this went down cause #waco taught us we don't need to know. #dorner
Totally just figured it out: Life is a series of awesome things & shitty things. They happen randomly & without warning. Then you die.
It's Adam and Eve, not millions of years of evolutionary biology backed by decades of scientific research.
If you act horrible in a restaurant, there is a 100% chance that you are just horrible in general.
Experiencing the Olympic Opening Ceremony via Twitter; nothing says global unity through sport like Americans making snarky internet jokes.
I usually don't ask for a RT, but I'm going to be in tonight's @parksandrecnbc & it'd be neato if you could help me spread the word. Thanks!
"Yo, these burritos taste funny." -Vin Diesel, devouring a boy scout troop in their sleeping bags at summer camp #VinDieselSunday
Hey @mtv, scheduling the VMA's on the same night as Obama's DNC speech as a litmus test to determine if our society has a future? BRILLIANT.
It's so cold in Minneapolis today (How cold is it?!) that Prince has cut open Garrison Keillor with a light sword & burrowed himself inside.
If I were an OBGYN, I'd use the joke, "there's a pap for that" to break the ice with new patients. Also, I'd make a terrible OBGYN.
So there is a cougar loose in Santa Monica. Big deal. Hundreds of cougars get loose in this town every weekend.
"E! News - Pissing on the definition of the word 'news' since 1990." #GoldenGlobes
"Yo, the Lord works in mysterious ways." -Vin Diesel, turning a water faucet on and off #VinDieselSunday
#ClipperNation - The @laclippers NEED U tonight! It's a #BattleForLA & WE MUST BE THE LOUDEST FANS. RT if u got us! @djdense @clipperdarrell
Seriously guys, eating lots of salads doesn't make me a pussy. Licking my body to bathe & pooping in this little sandbox does.
Just realized @mittromney is a perfect anagram for MR MONEY TIT. That makes today the greatest day of my life.
@billcorbett Pretty sure Jose Canseco's Twitter feed will become a religious textbook for whatever species follows us.
Actor • Improviser (@JunkRope) • Writer • Host (@LAClippers, @UCLA, @Pac12, @WheelsTV) • Former Host (@MNTimberwolves, @MyTalk1071) • Jackass (@WitstreamDotCom)
