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1. Be groovy 2. Don't be too groovy 3. But, like, don't artificially limit the grooviness 4. But don't try too hard. 5. But still, like, try
"You could make a tent with clear plastic sides and call it the Voy-Yurt."
BITCH FOR THE 39TH TIME I DO NOT WANT TO TURN ON NOTIFICATIONS FOR FACEBOOK MESSENGER
I took the What Thing Would You Click On? quiz and I got you clicked on that thing.
Can one be simultaneously too blessed to be stressed and too legit to quit?
I am being followed by a camera crew, and I am composing this tweet for the benefit of their b-roll.
"These hos ain't lawyers."
"Fly! Be free!"
This next tune is called "A Shit-Ton of Mucinex and a Bottle of Pedialyte".
World's best YouTube commenter as of now is the man enraged that the new Godzilla trailer shows a US military unable to kill giant monsters.
At some point somebody thought BE COOL STAY IN SCHOOL would be effective.
I took the How Are You? quiz, and I got Oh Okay I Guess.
Relieved to say that most dig Stellar Motel. Those who don't dig it tend to cite a) rapping b) bad words.
My next album will be a genre exercise: goofy, jokey, terrible honky-tonk songs of the style used as interstitial music during Car Talk.
Big announcement tomorrow.
Proposal to change name of Canada Day to When-It-Beganada.
"You're actually at the wrong store. This is an Urban Outfitters receipt." American Apparel clerk, quite sweetly, to customer.
Stats can't be shown as @Mike_Doughty_ has never signed in to Favstar.