So many awesome UK women athletes! Young girls: forget boob-jobbed reality celebs, THESE are your heroes and role-models. @teamgb

Typed "Sean Bean Tr..." into Google, first option was "Sean Bean Transvestite", second was "Sean Bean Trampled by cows". TRAMPLED BY COWS.

Flight Of The Conchords wishing you a sexy International Women's Day, ladies:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEcMG2Jvx3k&sns=tw …

Just received email with the BEST SUBJECT LINE EVER: "Anthropomorphic Mouse Taxidermy Class":  http://thehendrickslectureseries.co.uk/mousetaxidermy.html … pic.twitter.com/Ky56Pr2FEC

"bear in mind." BEAR in mind - not bare, no no, that would make too much sense. No. There's a BEAR. In your MIND. #weirdphrases

Some Victorian doodles, one of which owes a little to a certain @lazbotron 's recent example of splendid facial hair... http://t.co/8zf6DzPg

"But...it's a romcom, Mr Bean, you don't NEED armour..." says the director. "Not even a breastplate? Some greaves? Seriously?!"

May the Death Star trench rise up to meet you, the winds of Hoth be at your back, Tatooine's suns warm upon your face, etc etc #maythefourth

That was fucking brilliant. *moves to Sweden*

It's good to see Lithuania man can still lead a normal life after his charisma-removal procedure. #BOOM #eurovision

Well, the #BAFTATV tonight is AAAALLL about the awesome ladies, isn't it?

And this is exactly why I will NEVER wear anything from Abercrombie & Fitch. The school bullies of the retail world.  http://elitedaily.com/news/world/abercrombie-fitch-ceo-explains-why-he-hates-fat-chicks/ …

Girls dressed as miners with actual leeks pinned to your boiler suits: YOU are the actual winners here. #6nations

Rugby is one long traveling cuddle really. Sometimes they chase, sometimes they run away, but it always end in VIOLENT CUDDLING. #6nations

Check out @serafinowicz's Catholic Church related #PSQA's right now for super funny haha times.

So love how Amazon sends me emails about products that I've ALREADY purchased. The price has gone down you say? GREAT NEWS! *punches amazon*

Whenever I hear Tarantino talk I imagine he's a five year old who's just main-lined a shit load of e numbers. #EEBAFTAs

"Well yes, that's very nice," Sean Bean says, "But if you don't mind I'll just wear what I always wear."

Imagine that Sean Bean, when cast for a new film, just turns up with his own armour/weaponry/wig nowadays.

Seems the main problem the US has with Obama is that he didn't fly in on a unicorn firing rainbows out his arse, curing cancer with a wink.