Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Pills that let you choose what you dream about.
If you're not drunk on a random Tuesday like me, I really question your commitment
Pretty much a guarantee if you wear a wallet chain you WILL be that future parent who leashes their kids around at Disneyland.
I'm pretty sure today is the last day before Christmas you can break up with someone without being a complete jerk.
Attention whore achievement level unlocked.
OMG I'm in a food coma!!! Jk it's severe depression
Just spent several minutes thinking about how Taylor Swift's next single should be called "Yours," to follow past singles "Mine" and "Ours"
Never give up on the people that give you love, give up on the people that give you excuses.
My ex twitter crush starred my tweet. I can't decide if that means:
-the wedding is back on
The 13th step is happy hour, right?
Sometimes "I'm fine" means she's fine. Other times it means she's had five arguments in her head with you that you didn't let her win today.
I have to say I'm starting to lose a little respect for Tila Tequila.
"Men's rights activism" is an awfully official way to say you cry after masturbating.
Spent six days in Key West, Florida and now I have chest hair :(
The miracle of human flight is absolutely breathtaking.
Unless that miracle is with any other airline than Southwest.
If being single on Christmas makes you sad, don't worry, New Years and Valentine's Day are right around the corner!
Pet peeve: girl sneezes
Go to a picture from 50 weeks ago on her Instagram and leave your number. Embrace the thirst. 🌾👀🌾
Flight Attendant. Hot mess. Mexican. My tweets are loaded with sarcasm, humor, & some stupidity. Opinions are my own, not my employer.