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Breaking: Florida lottery winner already broke again after spending fortune on giant statue of Tim Tebow wearing jorts.
How do you do it, men's rights activists? How do you find the courage to fight for males, in a male-dominated society? Truly inspiring...
I like it when Americans say “dingus”.
To those who think makeup isn't a form of art have never seen my before.
Moving to Brooklyn after 6 years in San Francisco. Do you guys have Segway charging stations on every block or just a few per neighborhood?
E.L. Konigsburg has died. A gifted writer whose books inspired me. One of the most creative people I've ever met. An original. RIP Elaine.
The only thing that sounds better on vinyl is a couch fart.
Mark Wahlberg arrives in a rowboat, pulling the oars against the ground like a cartoon.
I'm not too sure how to feel when New Zealand makes world news and not because we just did something fucking embarrassing. Prideness?
Science in 140. Catalyst. Speeds up a chemical reaction; can be impacted by a promoter, such as Don King, or an inhibitor, such as your mom.
If you don't treat the janitor, the cafeteria lady, and the security guard as co-workers than you are an asshole.
I sleep 3 hours a night and drink 16 cups of coffee a day I can only watch five minute long videos without getting bored I am the future.
Every time North Korea calls the US "Imperialist Dogs," we get the same "still got it" feeling of a 35 year old getting carded for smokes.
You guys like how we haven't heard from Heidi and Spencer Pratt in a long time? I love discovering blessings you didn't even know you had.
just so y'all know - the Oxford English Dictionary is the bible as far as definitions goes and the MLA Handbook is your grammar bible.
DON'T SAY YOU LOVE GRAMMAR & SAY WEBSTER'S IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK BC IT
1. ISN'T RELIABLE
2. HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH GRAMMAR MECHANICS
*waits for you to fall asleep*
*rolls out from under your bed*
*moisturizes your knees and elbows*
Most popular baby names 2014: Michonne, Dammit Carl
Between my humidifier & Portia making me tea non-stop, there's so much steam coming from our house people think we picked the new Pope.
Writer, editor, caped crusader on a mission to save the English language.