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Wearing workout clothes like I'm about to do something other than eat cinnamon rolls.
My father just told me I need an exorcism because he thinks I'm full of demons. Love you too, dad!
I can sum up how much I love people in 3 words: I do not.
It's easy to be mistaken for a celebrity at Walmart if you have all your teeth.
It's pretty crazy to think in just 8 years Honey Boo Boo will be a mom.
Those socks go great with your sandals.
I'm treating myself to an ice cream today because I never had a baby in high school.
I'd be lying if I said I don't use my sexuality to get free apple pies at McDonald's from time to time...
Longest minute of life: waiting for food to come out of the microwave...
People who make medicine clearly have no idea what fruit tastes like.
If you don't open doors for woman, you are definitely a douchebag.
Today I bought cupcakes without sprinkles.
Diets are hard.
When it comes to laziness, I've had an extremely productive day.
Women who don't wear underwear never get their panties in a bunch.
If I text with "Almost there!" I haven't left yet.
Keeping up with the Kardashians is basically a full time job.
Those cleaning charts in public bathrooms are filled with lies. You certainly DID NOT clean ANYTHING on 8/8/12 at 6:30am, RJH aka LIAR!
I've met a lot of real players in my life, Congratulations you made it on the list... #ImmaTellTheWholeWorldHowYouDidIt
Born at a very young age. I don't play ball, I just ball. I write songs about you. I sing them too...