Fuck it. I'm gonna find some trouble to get into.

When someone sees you crying and says "are you sad"? Kick them in the balls and say are you okay?'

I have nothing original or funny to say. Please rt.

Fuckity. Fuckity. I just like how that sounds. Fuckity. Say it out loud with me folks. Fuckity. Best word ever.

I just got called a whore by a lying cheat. Totally funny. LOL

You can't fix stupid. Not even with duct tape and a magic marker.

People are no damn good. That's why I love my dog so much. She's pretty awesome. ;)

My message in the bottle would say - Alone on a deserted island. DON'T send help.

The voices in my head need to quiet down before i poke them with another Q- tip!

I have a pocket full of 'F*CK You's and have already started passing them out this morning!

Good morning world! I'm awake. Yeah, I know, its unusual. ;) xoxoxo

Pet peeve of the day: its not disorientated. Its disoriented. Please make a note of it. I fucking hate that.

Dear Mr. undercover police car, I like your 5 extra antennas ;-)

It's OK to talk to yourself. It's even OK to answer yourself. But you know you have a real problem when you ask yourself "what?"

lost my "care" button and found my "f*ck off" button.

would like to inform everyone that Helen Waite is now my assistant. So if you need anything, just go to Helen Waite.

says here's a condom, cause I'm thoughtful and I want you to be safe when you go F **K yourself (:

If you could read my thoughts, you would back away slowly with no sudden movements....

Itchy fibro skin, achy body, smelly dogs, m&m's, and flaming hot cheetos. My night in a nutshell.

Damn today is flying by! And I'm just lazing around!