@MitchMartin's (Mitch Martin) most faved Tweets...
"Daddy Daughter Work Day" is really jamming up the amount of f-bombs I normally drop around my desk. Fuck.
There are few things classier than a couple of ladies buying a jumbo can of Spaghettios and two packs of Marlboro Reds on a Saturday night.
No I wasn't texting while driving. I was ssh'ing into my web server, restarting mysql and then testing to make sure my web site was back up.
Choked on my first drink of water. If that isn't a sign to go back to coffee I don't know what is.
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If the car is smart enough to tell me it's 19 degrees out I should be smart enough to realize it's too cold to leave the fucking house.
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Just physically wrote a check for the first time in two years. Fuck, I might as well chisel my next email on a stone tablet.
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Are drivers of the Chrysler Crossfire just huge fans of the "Ambiguously Gay Duo" or do they not realize they are driving a dickmobile?
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Fuck buddy, it's the breakfast bar at the Comfort Inn. Quite trying to make a latte out of drip coffe and fake creamer.
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"Don't play while intoxicated" Get off your cloud of judgment, getting drunk and talking shit to 13 year olds is the reason I bought an xBox
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Learned a valuable lesson last night. Never eat tater tots before a long run. I spent 6 miles re-chewing those bastards.
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"My wife stole my Bare Naked Ladies Christmas CD." Dude, that's not even something I'd say around other men.
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Ahhhh, first beer of the day. After 7 hours of wedding talk/planning I've fucking earned this thing and the 11 that will follow.
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Coffee and 0 emails? I can't imagine a better morning. Well I can but it would involve booze and backstroking through a pool of cash, naked.
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What the fuck is convenient about a $8.60 convenience charge on a $19.00 ticket? Cut the bullshit and just make the ticket price $28.00.
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Stepping away from the Ebay. Almost bid on a vintage lighter. I haven't thought, "Fuck, I wish I had fire in my pocket." in at least 3 years
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Just caught a little "Leave it to Lamas". That bluetooth headset destroyed every memory I had of Lorenzo Lamas being a badass in "Renegade".
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Is there anything more entertaining than watching a hipster trying to balance on his fixie at a red light? I could watch this shit all day.
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Can't decide on the @favstar50. For every tweet that deserved 50 stars there's a Jonas or Bieber tweet that makes me want to punch a puppy.
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Really NBC? Are you kidding me with this "Install Microsoft Silverlight" bullshit? How about I just watch it on YouTube instead.
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